The Opinion Monster

Sue One Liners

2010-11-04T19:39:00.003-04:00

And here's my opinion:

We all know Sue Sylvester. And we all know her talent for one liners. So, today, I pay homage to Sue with a batch of Sylvester quotes of my own.

Will, why in the world are you trying to relive your "high-school experience"? They were so awful, Drew Barrymore wouldn't trade
I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Your vest is so obnoxious I think it's obscuring my vision
Imagine how much hairspray you use. How could you do that to the poor ozone?
Brittany, you taught me something today. That evolution doesn't necessarily move forward
Did you hear that the company behind Troll dolls came out with a new product. It's called Will Schuester
I should become an Apple developer just to make an iPhone app that deletes you from the Earth
You think this is hard? Try spreading peanut butter on the back of a bull. That's hard!
Your voice sounds like a kitten on crack. Constant, high pitched, horrible whining.
If you carry on like this, I may just have to report you to Jon Stewart. He's in charge of restoring sanity.

Now, what one liner do you think should be featured on Glee? Also, what's your favourite one so far. For me, it would have to be:

If you don't get it in to me on time, I'll go to the animal shelter and buy you a kitten. I'll let you bond with that kitty until it hurts to leave it. And then one night I'll sneak into your house... and punch you in the face.

#unfollowmeif

2010-10-22T20:34:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Recently, I've started using Twitter. No, I'm not going to give you my user name, it's a personal account. One of the recent trending tags has been "unfollow me if...". Seeing this, I posted a few tweets with this tag, but I don't think 20 tweets: 3 minutes is a good ratio. So I decided to post them all here.

Unfollow me if:

you also follow JustinBieber.
you believe that poetic license is a card that lets you write poetry.
you are Team any guy who will date me.
you can't interpret the word interpret.
you think a megabyte is something you do to a sandwich.
you call a polygon a shape-thingy.
you believe The Hills and Jersey Shore are actually unscripted.
you think that Taylor Lautner and The Situation are good actors.
you tweet what you are doing. Seriously, you're not a celebrity. No one cares that doesn't already know.
you use Blogger as a Twitter and attempt using Twitter as a blog. Exception: if it works.
your Twitter username has the word "wii", "xbox", or "ps3" in it.
you believe any video game is better then real life, with a few exceptions.

So, if you somehow hunt me down and are about to click follow, think two things. 1) Do I fit the criteria? 2) How did I find him. Seriously, how did you?

Halloween Costumes

2010-10-13T19:13:00.005-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Hello, again. Long time no blog. Let's fix that.

As much as I hate to admit it, the space between now and winter is closing fast. Halloween is right around the corner, so, if you're having a hard time picking out a costume, you don't want to be wearing the same as someone else, or you're just surfing the web, catching some gnarly digital waves, READ THIS POST! Lest you risk losing my respect.

Most Popular Halloween Costumes of 2010 (as predicted by yours truly)

10. Big Mac

Every year I put this as one of the choices, in the hopes that someone would finally dress up as one and post pictures here. Someone. Please! It would be so awesome I can't even describe it.

9. Trampy Celebs

This will hopefully be mostly the teens, but Miley Cyrus has some pretty young fans, and some pretty trampy outfits.

8. Ninjas

This I lament. The days of the classic Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles are over. Kids would rather be a boring, non-deadly ninja. How often can you be both a lethal super-stealthy action movie character and an awesome shelled cartoon animal, all at once. Ya, that's what I thought.

7. Giant Pumpkin

I needed something for the toddler population, and the classics have bee reliable every other year. And, you know, if a few other adults dress up like this, kudos to them.

6. Dom Cobb from Inception

Come on, guys. Buck it up, grab a metal briefcase,a suit, and a top, and your good to go. Of, and of course mastering the Leo strut

5. Lady Gaga

This is one of the most forecast costumes of the year, but I doubt there will be a lot of actual costumes. It may be one of the most wanted costumes of the year, but can you imagine making one of those suckers?

4. Nickelodeon Characters

Yes, this STILL includes Spongebob. Thank goodness that most kids can't and don't attempt the laught, otherwise you'd have to send me off to Bethlam

3. Jersey Shore

I decided not to include these "actors" under trampy celebrities, as they are in a class of their own in that department. Guys are going to be wearing their shirts open, and the girls. I don't even want to see this.

2. Na'vi

Although it seems like a lifetime ago, this is the first Halloween since the movies release. These costumes are simple and recognizable, making them a hit for humans and pets alike. Poor little Yorkie never saw the blue dye coming.

1. Werewolf

Gee, I wonder where people got the urge to dress up as werewolves from. Hmmm, puzzling. What has Jacob Black done to this generation?

And that's my rundown of the scary things that will be on your doorstep October 31st. I wasn't kidding about that scary thing. The level of Snooki's alcoholism is a little scary.

I RETURN!

2010-10-11T09:43:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

My opinions are back. If you haven't noticed yet, this is your clue. I'm going to attempt regular posts, at least two a week, again, but if it doesn't work, I may just go back to either random posting or obscurity. This could be fun.

But with this new attitude comes a new look, as you can see, as well as a new style of posting. Instead of my usual rants about social and political issues that are bathed in dry wit, I'll be doing more short, or list styled posts, which will also be bathed in dry wit. You know I love me my dry wit.

So make sure to check back in every couple of days to see if I can stick to my resolution. Also, be prepared for a possible URL change in the near future. I'll give you plenty of notice, but it'll be up to you to get that note.

A World Without Cars

2010-07-05T21:33:00.004-04:00

And here's my opinion:

In the spirit of catching up with what I've missed on my break, I'm going to be talking about cars. Now, we've seen over the past few years that the car industry isn't exactly the shining shield of untouchability that it was once upon a time. Ha ha ha, sorry, just can't keep a straight cyber-face while saying that. Toyota has had the multitude of recalls. The big three flopped in the recession. Honda has... nothing as of now. But it will in due time. In due time, my pretties. But in the mean time, I think we should ponder evolving our transportational systems. Here are some ideas:

Hovercars, buses, and trains. Seriously, what could go wrong? It's pretty much just what we have now, except 10x cooler. Plus, no one will ever again be allowed to complain about the bumpy ride. No one will ever again need to take a boat anywhere, as hovercars are supposed to work on water. Keywords there: supposed to. Some cons of this method: cost. It's amazing how high the cost of hovercar upholstery is now a days. Trust me, I would know. Also, power. I can just imagine some guy riding across the ocean in his new hovercar when suddenly, the battery dies. So, obviously there are a few kinks to work out.

An alternative to the hovercar method that is equally as awesome is the jet pack/other personal flying device method. This would likely only be used for local or short range travel, but would severely decongest traffic, not to mention make every route more direct. And no running into trees anymore. Just smooth skies. You know, unless you run into another jet packer. Then you're really screwed. And what do we do when we want to go transcontinental. A jetpack's battery life, like the hovercar, would give out someway over the ocean. And again, none of the kinks have been worked out yet. But I'll put my best people on putting other people's best people on it.

And for the risktaker in you, we have the fastest and most futuristic of all transport methods. Beam me over, Scotty, it's transportation. It makes the most sense. It's instant, it's smooth, and it can take you across seas and long distances. No more need for GPS' or any maps. But you know, there's that whole issue of half of you going, the other half staying or appearing in Syberia, but I'm sure we can work around it. Eventually. After it ruins the likes of thousands of people and their families. A nobel pursuit is worth the price. As always. Think about it. The odds of you being affected is technically 1: 7 000 000, untechnically 1: 287 403. Now aren't those odds worth it!

But if some of you want to stick with cars, your loss. I'll be there before you.

Team "No-Team"

2010-07-04T21:03:00.003-04:00

And here's my opinion:

As I write today, I'm watching Jimmy Kemmel, possibly live, but I'm not sure. You never know, now. But this gave me an idea. With the infamous Team Edward and Team Jacob, I just couldn't decide. As the wise Kemmel almost said- my heart says Jacob, my head says Edward, and my stomach says eat something good!!!" My stomach always wins. But seriously, Edward and Jacob are both so old fashioned. I need a newer, more modern team. And that's why I created these, for Twi-soft (Twilight haters) like me:

Team some random girl trying to rip off Taylor Lautner's abs unsuccessfully.
Team Robert Pattinson loses his accent in a freak accident.
Team that other random girl that Stephanie Meyer is basing the next book on.
Team Carlisle. Seriously, that guy needs some more credit.
Team "accidentally" spilling coffee on your computer to spare you the pain of Twilight #1.
Team *SPOILER ALERT* wishing that the Cullen's had fallen into the fire at the end of Eclipse.
Team... oh, wait, I forgot to turn off the spoiler alert. One second... *SPOILER ALERT END*
Team laughing at too hard Twihard.
Team actors looking really uncomfortable watching Eclipse.
Team creepeer who shoves naked Taylor Lautner doll down his pants. Yes, I'm looking at you, Jimmy Kemmel.
Team interviews with akward moments.
Team "Is that Robert Pattinson?!?", "No, that's just some girl."
Team some Twihard killing Justin Bieber just to see him in the next movie (it didn't work).

And, last, but not least, Team Edward pushing Jacob of that stupid cliff, while being killed by a Volturi who's running over Bella with her own stupid pickup truck!

My Return

2010-07-03T21:39:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

I am so so so so so so sorry. I have been so busy with... well, you don't need to know exactly what I've been doing for the past few months. I apologize for this, but obviously nothing of total interest has gone on since then. No, just the world's largest oilspill, the HST, the G20 and G8, and the usual political banter. I don't have time for a long post, but I'll follow up again tomorrow.

On Hiatus

2010-04-02T18:25:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

You may have noticed that I haven't been able to post recently. This is because of a few reasons. My internet has been out of commision lately, and I was away for a while. Those are my official reasons. But I got so frustrated when I wasn't able able to post, and I had been struggling to find time to post. My extra-curriculars have been increasing, and I'm rushing to do my posts, not accounting for the many technical issues that arise. Therefore, I am putting, or should I say I have put, my posting on hiatus for at least another week to re-evaluate my one post a day rule. It may not be feasable at this time. In a week, I will report back. I just want to warn you that this blog, in a worse case scenario, may not be continuing. See you in a week!

Can We Trust No One?

2010-03-26T19:05:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

I was going to paste an email I received, but then I remembered to check on the valid email detector site I was recommended last time I did something like this. The email was about a woman on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire who thought the moon was smaller then an elephant. It turned out it was fake, but based on a true story. Still, what's going through out email boxes. Tomorrow, I talk about these days' justified lack of trust, but today I don't have time. See you tomorrow

The Olympic's Cousin

2010-03-25T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Now that the Paralympics are done and over with, and all the medals have been racked up (Canada took third, by the way, with 10 gold), it's time for this post. After endless hours of viewing media, I realized there's been some unfair treatment of the Olympic's handicapped counterpart. Here are some of the examples to prove my point.

Let's start with broadcasting. There's been a lot of controversy over these, considering the mess that one of the major Canadian broadcaster- I'm not going to name names. Right, CBC- caused when they refused to broadcast the Paralympic opening ceremonies. Ya, I agree. Stupid much. Why not. Oh, ya. I forgot. A rerun of Ghost Whisperer is going to get way more viewers then a one time only event. How could I be so silly. I could see why they would replace that program if it was, like, a special, one time only, can only do it now, documentary, but for whatever they were airing that time. No. I know that, if it was something good, I would have heard about it. Hey, don't glare at my blog like that. It's true. In this instance, CBC was just mistaken about what it's viewers wanted. Unlike my next example.

I was watching some Paralympic coverage, the rare little piece I could find of it. And I picked up a little tidbit of information that I thought you should probably know. You know in the original Olympics, when someone wins a medal, they actually get payed by the Canadian government.*
*Offer only applies to Canadian citizens. Some restrictions apply. Batteries not included.
But when it comes to the games a month later, guess what our athletes get. Wow, you're good! Except for you, Mr. "A Friendly Handskake". You can just... just... go shake a hand. They actually thought that this wouldn't get out and people wouldn't realize how bad they were. Guess that's politics for you. But this is taking "mean" to a whole new level. These athletes give up their jobs and financial success to follow their dreams.The least Canada could do would be to reward them with cash, even if not the same level as the Olympians. Some could call this unconstitutional. Those people would not be me, but I know people would.

Lastly, merchandise. While I was watching the last part of the Paralympic opening ceremonies, I saw Betty Fox and her husband carrying in the flame. And guess what they were wearing. the Olympic red mittens endorsed by Oprah, except for one little thing. They were the Paralympic version. They had the three arches on the place where the inukshuk should be. Now, I was on a multi-store hunt to try and find the Olympic red mittens, and there weren't any because they'd been sold out for weeks. But there also weren't any of these mittens, mostly because they weren't selling them because it would take up too much room. Moaybe if you started actually trying to sell your products, Bay, then we could afford to pay our medal winning athletes. I'm not asking that all of your profits go to that. I would do that, but not now. just a portion of it, for today.

But now it doesn't matter, because both games' are finished. And I'm suffering from Olympic withdrawl. To the world figure skating championships site!

Jetpack's Galore

2010-03-24T21:24:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Here's what could be a response to one of my posts. What do you think?

Sometimes you’ve got to feel for Stephen Harper. Consider his
changing-the-national-anthem ﬁasco: the guy finally takes a shot at appealing to
women and what does he get? Glares, insults and mockery. It’s his high school
Sadie Hawkins dance all over again.

But Harper brought it on himself.
The Prime Minister set aside two long months to “recalibrate” his agenda and
still he failed to embrace the word that would ignite his electoral
prospects—the one word that would rally the people of Canada to his cause and
assure him of the majority he so desperately seeks.

Jetpacks.

Do
the math, people. For years now, the PM has been mired in the mid-30s in polls.
But political scientists unanimously agree that pledging to commit our nation’s
resources to the development of a National Jetpack Program would win the votes
of 100 per cent of Canadian men who are me.

When I was a boy, I was told
there would be jetpacks. Society promised me jetpacks. Since then, all sorts of
futuristic predictions have come true: genetic engineering, virtual reality,
sharks with laser beams on their heads (Bill Gates’s bathtub only). Yet here we
are in 2010 and I still have to walk to the bathroom. And they have the nerve to
call that other era the Dark Ages.

Now I’m in my forties and jetpacks
are still in their infancy. There’s a New Zealand company that just started
selling a “dual propeller flying machine” capable of hitting 100 km per hour and
travelling to an altitude of 8,000 feet. Sounds promising, but the device is
huge and bulky. Worse, it can make it only 50 km on a tank of fuel, which is a
big problem until we all implant into our chests one of those Iron Man power
devices, like Robert Downey Jr. Where’s my hacksaw?

The other issue with
the New Zealand jetpack, made by the Martin Aircraft Company, is its cost:
US$100,000 per unit. Now personally, if I had US$100,001 to my name, I would
happily spend 100,000 of them on a jetpack. (I’d need the remaining dollar as
legal retainer for my inevitable divorce.) But I’m willing to accept that a
small percentage of Canadians would be unwilling to pay that much for a
jetpack. This is where Stephen Harper comes in.

The Prime Minister needs
to invest a certain amount of our annual budget—for example, all of it—in
developing a jetpack that is lighter and cheaper and comes in cherry red. Sure,
we’ll have to go a few years without luxuries like hospitals, electricity and
human kindness. Sure, there are bound to be some truly horrific accidents during
prototype flights, for which we shall honour the bravery of the test pilots
chosen at random from Harper’s cabinet. And sure, once jetpacks arrive, no one
will walk ever again—we’ll all be 500 lb., like in Wall-E and the U.S. Midwest.

But that’s a small price to pay when you consider the jetpack isn’t just
a convenient mode of transportation—it is the solution to every single one of
life’s problems. Depressed? Not after you get your jetpack. Free from physical
deformity? Not after you smash your jetpack. Still stuck at the helm of a
minority government after four long years of forcing a smile? Jetpack!

firmly believe our investment in jetpack technology will pay off
big-time. Steve Jobs will buy the design from us, name it the iPack, put a lousy
camera in it and we’ll all be rich. We’ll have so much money that we’ll be able
to bring all the athletes back to Vancouver and show them a closing ceremonies
that doesn’t bite the big one. Right after we win gold in the jetpack slalom.

Despite my enthusiasm, I am not naive about jetpacks. I know there are a
number of difficult public policy questions that still need to be addressed.

Policy question No. 1: should we name our jetpacks? It’s a tough call.
We generally don’t name our cars but we do name our boats. I’m going to say yes,
we should name our jetpacks. Dibs on Hellraiser.

Policy question No. 2:
would a proliferation of jetpacks intensify the process of global warming? Yep.
But here’s the thing: nobody will give a damn. Rattlesnakes could migrate north
to thrive on the tropical Arctic tundra and the Bermuda-shorted Inuit would be
like, “Check this out—I put some flame decals on the side of my jetpack.” And
David Suzuki and Al Gore would high-five and agree that’s awesome. Why? Because
it is awesome.

Policy question No. 3: jetpacks are amazing! That’s not
really a question, but I agree.

At this point, you’re probably wondering
if there is any downside—any downside at all—to a world with jetpacks. The
answer is no. Will some people in jetpacks die in head-on collisions with other
people in jetpacks? Frequently. But they’ll be remembered for having died in a
jetpack accident. There is no more awesome way to go.

Or is there? Again, what do you think?

Warning

2010-03-23T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Usually, I give my opinion of the day now. Today, there's a bigger issue that needs this blog's attention. Here's an ad that I thin you need to here.

Warning!
There has been a recall on the world's air.
Fresh? I don't think so.
Intake of the air may cause mutations, lung cancer, other cancers, asthma, death, or death related symptoms such as not breathing.
People are advized to take the following provisions:

wear gas masks at all times.
plant as many trees as possible, and keep replanting as they will die quickly in this environment.
not breathe.

Thank you, and have a pleasent death I mean day.

Spring, Hello

2010-03-22T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Yesterday, I poster 25 reasons that I'm sad to see winter gone. Today, I switch that completely around, and throw a sort of welcoming party for spring. Top 20 reason spring rules.

Flowers. Not the bees that come with them, but all the rest.
The fact that it's possible to run. I need to burn off those winter pounds.
Swimming season starts.
Showers. If it rains just the right amount, it makes me want to sing in the rain (sing in the rain...).
New beginnings. A new spring resolution.
Longer days. Now I may actually have time to blog instead of jotting down random but insightful stuff.
Spring chicks. Who can resist it when they flap their little wings?
Easter. Chocolate. So much chocolate! Mine, all mine! Wait, did I just reveal my inner chocoholic? Oopsy.
Sunshine.
Lollipops.
Rainbows.
Gummydrops. Okay, only 9 and 11 were real.
Laughing at people who feel obliged to garden. In my mind. I would never do it out loud. Seriously, no one cares about your garen unless it's really spectacular.
Bird songs. They good me good ideas for new compositions.
The fact that you can find worms for a compost pile I've been meaning to start.
Those misty days were you step outside and instantly feel wet. I don't know why, but that feels good to me.
Clothing. You can actually get your seatbelt done up without having to go: "Uh, I can't move."
Seeing Buffalo win the Stanely Cup. This year, it's going to happen.
Flowers. I know that was my first, but these are for the unreal flowers that are made of wood.
Winter being over!

And that's it today, folks. Just remember, it may not feel like it where you live, but it is still spring.

Winter, Good Riddance

2010-03-21T19:16:00.002-04:00

And here's my opinion:

If you are not aware, spring (officially) began today. Didn't exactly feel like it today, but I would have believed it this past week. It was all nice weather. At last, for the first part. Today, I list the 20 things that I'm going to miss. If it's less, I'm not losing my mind. I just can't think of more. [Sigh] I love spring.

Winter sports. You know, like hockey, speed skating, seeing who can cheer harder when Canada wins gold in hockey.
Christmas.
The break from Idol. I think everyone, besides Kara Dioguardi, can agree with that.
The holiday displays. They are so cute.
The endless debates over Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Season Greetings. Can't all greetings co-exist peacefully?
The cozy feeling you get under all those blankets at night.
Snowmen that are, how should I say in, unique.
The first snowfall. Conditionally. It was to be just the right ammount of snow at the right tempurature.
Postcard images outside your front door.
Holiday special orders at resturants. Mmm. Happy Ho Ho Ho shake.
Snowdrifts. When their big, you can escape the whole world in there.
Fireplaces. Even if it's just on a TV screen.
Eggnog.
The different variations of eggnog mixed drinks.
The fact that eggnog isn't made from real eggs.
Did I say eggnog?
Having all those pockets in your coat.
A reason not to go jogging. I mean a valid reason.
Family time. No, I'm kidding! And to my familoy, I'm not kidding.

And last but not least...

It's over!

Is That A Kid Up There?

2010-03-20T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

About a week ago, a child was caught directing traffic at JFK International Airport. More on that today, in the most cheerful method possible, considering that lives were on the line. Cartoons!

Now wasn't that cheerful? I'm grinning/ glaring from ear to ear.

Best Actoress Award

2010-03-19T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Host: Now, one of the night's most prestigious awards of the night. You know, besides Best Film, Best Supporting Actoress, Best Animated Film, Best Stunts, Best Key Grip, Best Director... Chair, and the like. The Best Actoress Awards. It collects a pool of the world top actors and actresses and finds the most politically correct performance of the year. And now, I have the honour of standing here while no one watches me. Unless, of course, I pull a Kanye West. Hey, good idea. And now, the winner is. Oh, come on. Open, you stupid envelope. [Rip] You just got owned, Mr. Envelope! Ann Nonymus!

Ann Nonymus: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygsoh. I did it! In your face, Meryl Streep! Ha ha. You may have 16 nominations, but you've only won twice. You were no match for the Nonymus genes. And Gaboury Sidibe. You're great, and your future is going to reflect that. That's why I had to crush you like a bug. It was for your own good. Partially. Now, where's Sandra Bullock? Oh, okay, there you are. Your time will come. I know people have been telling you that for years and years. But I'm sure that this time is exactly the same. Sorry, honey, you're past your prime. In related news, Helen Mirren. I had only heard your name before nominations were announced. But I somehow knew you were destined for greatness. Not winning an Oscar is a very great accomplishment. It shows your non-pawn-iness. And lastly, Carey Mulligan.

I want to thank my mom for bringing me into this world. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Of course, if it weren't for the good weather today, I wouldn't be here. So you have the same significance as a raindrop. In the best way possible. To my acting coach, who taught me how to cry when I'm sad, happy, scared, surprised, and human. To all the other nominees in this category, for sucking more then I did. Also, the Academy, for being amazingly shallow, and giving the award to the person seen as the most politically correct and least controversial. To the Academy selectors for picking people with absolutelly no taste in acting, mostly because they have no talent themselves. Without all these people, I wouldn't be on this stage, and the world would be a better place for Sandra Bullocks everywhere.

Every since I was a little child, I have wanted to be a fireman. I begged and begged my parents to let me go to the firehall to see the big red trucks. That was at 15. At 19, I finally looked in a mirror, and saw how scrawny I was. That fatal look scorched all my dreams. I was so depressed, I never wanted to roast marshmellows or warm up by the fireplace agian. That all changed when I got a call from my agent (he was looking for a station that would actually take me in), saying that there was no way I'd ever be able to do the real thing, so why don't I try staring in a firefighter flick. I tried out for one, and they told me to go pack on 30 punds of muscle and I'd be cast as the main. So I went to the gym 5 hours a day, ate 20 protien shakes, (they became my entire diet) and somehow I only gained 29.99 pounds. So I just ate 20 hamburgers and used the padding they sell at the dollar store. That $1.13 has finally paid off.

Once again, thank you.

Voiceover: When we come back. Who will take the title of best picture? Will the hosts be able to keep the telecast under three hours? Does anyone care anymore?

Quickpinion: Movie Edition

2010-03-18T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

A new take on the semi-classic format of blog post, today's Quickpinion- patent pending- will be totally on the subject of movies and the buzz surrounding them. If this goes well, I may have to do other Quickpinions focused on a certain topic.

A new movie out in theatres soon, entitled Repomen, is taking a big toll on my mind. It centres around a few agents called, you guessed it, Repomen, who, just like today's reposessers, take back things that people can't pay for. The catch? The things they take back are donated organs. Yes, organs. You can already tell that the movie is going to be a mindless, plotless smorgasbord of blood and gore. But the idea behind it is what's raising my eyes. This movie has me thinking "Sure, maybe not today, but at what point in time is society going to get so fixated on belongings and cash that we would actually go to such lengths to get what we earned?". Not will, when. I've pointed out our obsession with profit many times before. This movie is just taking it to the bank. We're killing people to get what we want. We're no worse then Macbeth, his wife, and about half the people in that play. Our organs, even if not originally ours, have a special place. Inside of us!
As people were saying a while ago, this Oscar season was a great year for women. But not exactly that. More for plus-sized women. Have you not seen Mo'nique and Gaboury Sidibe rocking their flab on red carpets all across LA? They've been some of the best dress wearers of the award season. And I don't think I've heard a single negative comment about their weight so far. Okay, maybe one. But that one really didn't count. The person who uttered it had no class. But not only is it just because of these two ladies. Hollywood has a more accepting attitude for the extra pounds these days, but only is it's worn correctly. It's sort of turning into a fashionista frenzy out there. Only a few women can make it through. Ladies of Hollywood, a tip. If you want to eat a lot of cheeseburgers, go ahead. Just make sure you don't look waistline conscious while you do so.
Zoe (with the 2 dots on top of the E. Sorry, I can usually do the accents, but today... nope.) Sandala's role as a Na'vi princess was rightfully disqualified for Best Actress in a Leading Role, because she wasn't really acting. There's been heated debate over whether her role can be considered an screen acting preformance. Today, I stand to take the side of the backers of the ruling. I believe that, to be a screen preformance, you have to be the one on screen, not an Avatar of you. But this would be considered a screen preformance. In an ideal world. She was the one who was controlling her onscreen persona, from the slightest twitch of an eyebrow to the biggest roar and lunge. If there hadn't been any CGI or other digital effects, the preformance would have been just as good, and would have qualified. But the way, I know the reason we don't live in an ideal world. It's full!

And that's all for today/tonight. Readers. Off to watch a movie. No, I'm kidding.

The Future in 3D

2010-03-17T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

When I went to see Alice in Wonderland at the movie theatres yesterday (Really good, by the way. I could have used some better writing for the Hatter, but Depp used what he had.), I was in a fairly small cinema that didn't have a 3D screen. Yes, you heard me. Not one 3D screen. And this is a rare thing now. And this got me thinking about the future movies. Will you be watching the newest classics in 3D? My answer is most definitly yes.

Think back about 50 years. To a time of Hairspray, Grease, and, yes, colour television. At that time, coloured video was an innovation. It looked spectacular. It looked so real. It was amazing. Now you can fast forward about 50 years. Yes, to the spectacular Todayland. Seeing any resembelance? Ya, me too. And what is colour television today? The norm. Something we don't give another thought about. if there's still a black and white TV today, it's sitting in some old dusty attic in a 30 year old house. I think that that's a very close parallel. Don't you agree? Let me just say that it's going to be a very odd parallel 50 years from now, too. 3D is the way of the future, man. And we're just starting to hop abord the band wagon.

Speaking of the bandwagon, it's already started rolling down a steep, steep hill. Not only does almost every theatre, save the one I saw Alice in, have a third dimension compatible screen, but companies like Samsung are preparing to market 3DTV's soon, hoping to have all the kinks worked out within a year of that. Ya, not going to happen. Try double that. But they're still trying. That's pretty good. An appropriate timeline for the rollout is not yet available, but they're estimating around April.* But the idea that that level of technology is producable in this year is amazing. What's next? Personal hover-jets? They may not yet be perfect, but as soon as they are, there won't be any more on shelves.

So, if you're thinking of buying a new TV, wait for a few years. Then you can be the coolest people on the block. Unless your block is Sunset Boulevard.

*Estimation made late 2009

Toronto, Toronto

2010-03-16T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

In a recent statement made, one of Ontario's MPPs said that he thought that Toronto could become it's own province. This was open to intense scrutiny. But this idea hasn't totally been examined fairly. I'm not saying that this is ever going to happen. Or that it is a good idea. But I think we should give it a fair trial. But the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing. Ya, that doesn't apply here.

Well, we've got to think about what would happen if we did attempt to separate a city from a province. One thing would be a ton of work for the government of Canada. They'd face a long and dusty road ahead lines with scrutiny and the risk of election. Also, what would Ontario be without the GTA. Just an endless void of cities and towns with good heart and a farming community that takes up half of the entire community. Toronto isn't just the capital of Ontario, its it's hard edge. Without it, Ontario would only be Ontari. And Toronto would just be an o without Ontari. We need each other. Also, there would be some major changes up on Parliament Hill, or wherever the new Ontario Parliament went. The governing style would change drastically. It wouldn't have to focus on things like grants for security cameras on public streets. It would focus more on industries like agriculture. We'd get more things done.

But the idea of doing all that work just for a little pay off isn't going to work. Think about all the paperwork that would have to be done. All the... well, that's really all I can think of at this moment time. But it would be a lot of paperwork. And the debating over the issue in the House and Senate would be just migraine summoning. Not to mention the public ideal of the proposal. Or lack there of. With another election coming up next year, they probably don't want to look bad. Too late.

And, not only is it a truck load of work, it's just unrealistic. having one little city as a province. They're on two different scales. I know that there's one thing in the mind of my skeptics currently. What about Australia. You haven't mentioned Australia. So you object to Australia, too? Enough with Australia! I get it. Sheesh. Calm down. Well, Australia is an entirely different scenario. What a lot of people don't know is that Australia is not a continent. It's just a country. It's often mistaken for Oceanica. Oceanica is the continent the has Australia, New Zealand, Paupa New Guinea, et cetera. It's just wrong on many levels.

So, in the end, after a fair judgement, I have concluded that this was a stupid statement. Yes, I know, stating the obvious here, but... ya. Good night.

Ways Stephen Harper Could Improve His Approval Rating

2010-03-15T03:00:00.001-04:00

And here's my opinion:

I believe the title speaks for the post.

Buy himself a soul.
Fund a National Jetpack Research Program. Seriously, who doesn't want a jetpack? Besides you, airplane companies.
Get to work!
Seem like an actual person. You know, show pictures of yourself doing things that humans do, like breathe and eat.
Attack ad Michael Iggnatief better. No one cares if he called America his country. He's Canadian now, suckers. We converted him. And it wasn't hard at all.
When you're dealing with a deficit and you want to get rid of it, Don't say you're not going to raise taxes. You're going to lose either way, so just go with a lesser loss- if you don't promise, you just raise taxes, instead of that and lying. We all know you're going to be raising taxes, just get it over with. Like ripping off a bandage, but with more of a scar in the long run.
Keep the home reno tax going.
Make friends with Mother Nature. That would pay off for everyone.
Give the House of Commons an extreme makeover. I'm thinking beanbag chairs, peice signs, an maybe a furry version of the flag.
Exchange his pet kitten thing for a dog. Studies show that dogs have 1.346 times the appeal of cats in the public eye. In related news, 39% of all statistics are completely false and made up.
Use his kids as ploys. I know it sounds really bad on paper/screen, but it really isn't that horrible. Maybe just a little public appearence here, a wholesome party there, and boom, you're up a good 0.1% in the polls.

And, if Stephen Harper doesn't use these tips, I think I know who can. Michael Iggnatief. Maybe not today, but next week I'm sure he'll screw things up enough.

Odd News List

2010-03-14T03:00:00.000-04:00

And here's my opinion:

Yahoo News has a feature on their Canadian site which I just found that lists recent odd news. Today I wish to spread some of that joy around.

Miami man allegedly had followers drink snail mucus in rituals, causing violent illness.
Centuries-old English cheese-rolling competition cancelled for overcrowding concerns.
NYC funeral home van ticketed, then towed - with body inside.
Man working on home computer in Peterborough, Ont., bit by stray snake.
Spain-bound cocaine found in Colombian sculptures.
Want to live like a cowboy? Try Wyoming.
Potholes sell like hot cakes in German village.
'Berlin's fastest cat' escapes with burnt paw.
Japan's spouse hunters hone skills at marriage school.
Bulgarian media launch 'favourite' pothole campaigns.
Aussie PM says Indonesia leader not offended by MP's 'nap'.
Australia goes from 'best job' to 'best taxi ride'.
Midnight knitter spinning nocturnal yarn over US shore town, putting sweaters in trees.
New Zealander auctions "ghosts" in a bottle.
Strange fruit: Dutch police discover half-ton of cocaine stashed in plastic pineapples.
Crime doesn't pay much: Police say robber scored $6 from holding up 11 people at US market.

That's all for this time, but expect more posts like this in the future. By the way, why can't we have headlines like this on the front page of the paper?

Oscar Aftermath

2010-03-13T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Everyone knew my Oscar picks for this year. What, you didn't? You should visit here more often. But now that the Academy Awards were announced and handed out, I can blog on it, and the winners. There was something for everyone to get mad about this year, between Sandra Bullock, fan fave, and Hurt Locker, the critic's pick. Today I explain my picks, and just generally rant about some of the outcomes. Have fun reading!

First, Best Picture. My picks were Hurt Locker, should win Hurt Locker, could win Avatar. Man, I nailed that one. Okay, I know that Avatar was the fan favourite, but I thought it was self-explanatory that the academy is not a group of fans. They are esteemed judges. They will not see the value of a fan pick. And they didn't. The only reason that Avatar got the buzz that it did was because of Dark Knight's horrendous snub in the 81 Oscar season. The telecasters wanted the best ratings possible. As for the choice of Hurt Locker over Avatar for my should win prize, that was a no brainer. I actually went to see Avatar. Did not in any way live up to it's hype. The writing was feeble and dull, the acting was only fine, and the only thing holding the film up in my eyes was the visual effects and the amazing set design/art direction. Both of which I think it won. I saw the first bit of the Hurt Locker. The writing was superb. The acting was awesome. But it wasn't the kind of film that I could say would be topping Avatar at the box office. Still, the two are very different categories.

Second up is Best Actress. I have been a very open supporter of Meryl Streep in this performance ever since I saw it around Christmas time. Her turn as the iconic Julia Child was Oscar worthy. But apparently the voters didn't think so. Sandra Bullock's role completely lent itself to an Oscar. It's the kind that they love to honour. I'm not saying that it's not fair. It technically is fair. But I just wanted to get a last word in on behalf of Meryl, because she is too gratious to do it herself. Her job was amazing. If Bullock wasn't in this category, and she was considered, out of some miracle, to be a supporting actress, then it would have been a steal for her. But Sandra, you do get my props for a great exceptance speech.

Such a good kisser

-Bullock on Streep, after lesbian kiss with Streep at the Critic's Choice Awards

But that's all that really irked me this year. Except for the fact that Up in the Air didn't take home a single golden man. You know, besides George Clooney.

A Country Called Canada

2010-03-12T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Apparently there are a few people out there who seem to see Canada differently. Those people would include Gary Lautens. He wrote an article entitled A Country Called Canada, that showed Canada in an entirely new light. I recommend reading the piece before continuing. Just a little tidbit of information that you may be wondering about, though. Gary Lautens is, infact, a Canadian himself. Even odder, because I don't think that any Canadian I know would say that about their country.

***READ THE ARTICLE***
***READ THE ARTICLE***
***READ THE ARTICLE***

Hey, you're still here? Ah, man. Now I have to do the rest of this thing. Well, since I've already started writing again. Let's just say half the article is (indirect, but apparent) lies. This is an exaggeration of Canada. And I don't mean like the Timmies roll-up-the-rim commercial where we convert that guy. No, I don't mean the media's over use of the phrase "eh" when talking about us. No, I mean taking our good features and stretching them out like our toffee. I'm not even going to quote the article, because I know that it would take up too much room. I agree that we are/have some of the stuff talked about in the article, like:

And no putting it in second place to another country.

I would never! And I'm not just saying that because of our recent domination of the gold medal market. Canada is great. I wouldn't bag on in ever. But I would maintain my modesty. I'd never brag unless it came up in conversation. This country is the ideal Canada. The Canada that was planned, not the one that naturally occured. I wish.

But how many people think like this? That's what I want to know. And not just Canadians. Other nationalities included. How many people agree with the writer, that this country is Canada? I'm going to post that as my poll. You have one month, until April 12, 2010, to answer. I'd really appreciate it if you did.

But, if this is what people think of us, this is putting us in a really bad position. Like, between a rock, a hard place, and a second rock. The world thinks were great. Look at another country who was in this position a few decades back. The USA. Look at where they are now. The enemy and target of all terrorists. We also have experience in this spot from beforehand, too. We used to be the world's quiet one, the one that rarely spoke up, and was just there as part of the set and scenery. That all changed at a little place I like to call Copenhagen. At first, we seemed to be like everyone else. Setting lofty targets to please the protesters and media. That turned out to be our greatest enemy. We became the butt of the worlds joke. The one that everyone hated. The nation sucker. It clings on to other countries bellies and rides them until the waves calm down. Guess when that is. Yep, never.

And remember to vote on the poll. Why do you never vote on the poll! It's not like you have to enter any crediy card numbers to vote. You still never vote. What will it take for you people. Me paying you? Don't get any ideas.

Quickpinion. Yes, Another.

2010-03-11T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Just like yesterday, you know the drill. And if you don't know the drill, then go to drill school.

Apple is in a rut. They need to find some new products. The standards can only take them so far. My guess at their marketing strategy is that they think that no one is going to buy a regular MP3, so just don't try. Ya, that's not working so well anymore, is it? No. We're not going to buy from you if we have practically the same thing already. The differences no longer outway the price. And with classified ad sites such as Kijiji booming with old stuff such as iPods and iPhones, and these are things you can get for triple the price, your sales will be going down. Fast. So you can claim that the iPad is a computer, but I see an iPhone, not an OS.
Hollywood has a changing attitude towards a happy ending. I'm sure almost all of us can remember the days that, if the main character entered a competition, they won it after facing a complex series of hurdles. In other words, they pulled a Joannie Rochette. But not today. Now it's a more complex ending. One example of a 00's- 10's ending would be if they wouldn't win, but their deserving friend would. But there are a variety of other things that could happen. Do you know what this means? It means that films are becoming more and more intelligent! Okay, maybe not to the degree that it's exclaimation-point worthy, but you get my gist. Writers are trying to add some depth to their script. This could lead to the fall of clichés. Eventually. Not exactly soon, or anytime around soon, but maybe by next... let's say... century. Wait. Century? D'oh.
The Paralympics are going to be one of the highest rated in TV or Canadian history. I have a few reasons for this. One is the highly grown and publicized Canadian pride that spread throughout the country during the Olympics. We all know that no one wants to see that die- excluding the other countries' fans- and the Para-games are going to be that chance. Also, we've already had one of the most popular games ever. And if not that, the most popular. Who'd bet that it wouldn't translate over to their sister event. Besides, I think that we all want to see the Opening Ceremonies and podium finishes once again. The fun has just begun a second time, and not a single Canadian is going to miss out on it.

I just realized that there probably is no drill school. Ah, well. I'm sure military school will do just fine. Look, I've got the films filled out already. Have fun. [wimper] They grow up so fast.

Editorial Cartoon Collection Number ???

2010-03-10T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

You know the drill.

See, you did know the drill. Told you.

Extra, Extra: Version 2.0

2010-03-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

If you don't know what this is, then search extra, extra in my search bar.

500 butchered in Nigeria killing fields. Man, that made sense all except for one word. Nigeria. That must code for "political".
Biden, PM set to focus on Iran. Keyword there: set to. That's code for "should be".
Turkey lowers quake death toll to 51. At the news, Brad Pitt was caught ripping up a check to the Red Cross for a million dollars saying "Thank god. All these earthquakes, all be as bankrupt as Nick Cage".
Palin's claim family sought medical care in Canada prompts scrutiny, ridicule. I think this is a pretty good trade. Palin for Williams.
Al-Qaida calls on US Muslims to attack America. Let's hope that's not the same way that Obama believes America called him to reform the health care position. Both would end disastrously.
TV ratings smile on Oscar as viewership rises. They frown back as intensely as George Clooney on Steve and Alec.
Kathryn Bigelow beats out ex James Cameron for Best Director and Best Picture. It's every divorced women's dream. To beat their ex. Up... won for Best Animated Picture.
Light drinking may help keep women slim. Define light. Not for me. For Pamela Anderson.
White House reveals Easter egg design. It opened to mixed reviews. The Easter bunny loved it- two paws up-, but the chicken was still skeptical.
Ben Stiller dons full Na'vi gear for the Oscar telecast. Robert Downey Jr. sits in front of the TV in a full Doug costume, muttering something about promises and no calls.
Sea lion dies after eating too many salmon. At press time, authorities could not confirm the identity of the sea lion, although editorialists have many theories. Most prodominant include several politicians.

I'm sorry, but it's been a slow news day. And a slow brain day. It's just a slow day all around.

And the Oscars Went to...

2010-03-08T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Before the Academy Award telecast starts, I want to notify you that this will be a live blog, like I did with the games earlier the other month.

8:00= red carpet. No, girls. I won't be reviewing the gowns. I may not even pay attention to the interviews. All that they do is spew false modesty and gratefulness out of every single (dilated) pore. We all now they want to win or they will wish they weren't here. I'll just skip to when the fun really started half an hour later.

8:30= awards ceremony starts. George Clooney is ignored in a new way. I like these Oscars already.

8:51= Christoph Waltz's win sets what I bet will be the tone of the entire batch of acceptance speeches. Better bet your iPods ready, guys. It's going to be a long and boring night.

8:52= Ryan Renyolds is on the stage and on the camera. Take that, Hollywood Foriegn Press Accosiation. The Oscars are more foriegn then you!

9:02= The screens start showing clips of the animated characters getting interviewed by an off-screen voice. What is this, the Disney channel?

9:06= Some guy named T-bone gets up on stage after Up takes the animated prize. Stick 'em, Doug!

9:15= the first upset of the night. Small, but still there. Let's hope this is one of only a few, or even better one.

9:17= Kathryn Bigelow, this Oscar is yours. If eeryone who had that said about them got a seperate statue, then the world would be out of gold, and the statuette would be gold coloured tinfoil.

9:30- 9:40= all the awards that no one cares about.

9:41= finally, an award someone cares about, even though that's only because Star Trek was nominated for it.

9:50= I had my suspiciouns, but with Precious they're confirmed. These are the most "what-the-heck,-that-wasn't-supposed-to-win Oscars ever.

9:51= "I don't know what to say". You're a writer, man. Come up with something.

10:00= with Mo'nique's win, it's official. Women have dominated the night. I mean, a women actually won Best Supporting Actress for once. If that's not an indicator, then I don't know what is.

?= Ben Stiller comes onto stage in full Na'vi makeup. No funny comment needed.

10:07= Avatar's first win of the night coming about half way in. Again, indicator alert!

10:18= "Horror movies do not get the respect they deserve."- Taylor Lautner. There's a reason for that. They don't deserve any.

10:21= they show a clip of New Moon in with the horror movies. Touchée.

10:37= everyone calling Avatar's director "Jim". I think we found a replacement for "king of the world"

10:55= James Cameron's Avatar gets Best Visual Effects. Who didn't see that coming?

I know it ran longer, but there wasn't anything worth it after that.

Oscar Odds, Revised Edition

2010-03-07T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

By the time some of you read this, it will be too late. the Oscars will have taken place. The winners will be drunk on any kind of alcohol (some of them won't even use alcohol). And everyone will be miffed about one of the voter's picks. Today, for those of you reading this the day of, these are your odds. And for those who aren't familiar with my work on this page, the revised is for a post I did earlier.

My Oscar Picks

2010-03-06T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As you remember, if you're a long time follower of this blog, I posted my picks for the Oscar nominees back in January, I think. Well, they were way off. And today, I pick who I think the winners are going to be. Yes, this is going to go just as well as the nominee predictions. In other words, I have one rule. No laughing about my picks when I see how off I was at 8pm tomorrow.

And the Oscars will, should, and if not my first pick will go to...

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker, Up in the Air, Avatar
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges- Crazy Heart, Jeremy Renner- The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner- The Hurt Locker
Best Actress: No clue, judgement tied between Bullock and Streep, Meryl Streep- Julie and Julia, Carry Mulagen- An Education
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz- Inglorious Basterds, unknown, Woody Harrelson- The Messeger
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique- Precious for all three
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow- The Hurt Locker, same, and James Cameron- Avatar
Best Animated Feature: Up, Up, Fantastic Mr. Fox
Best Original Song: Weary Kind- Crazy Heart, Take it All- Nine, either film in The Princess and the Frog
Best Original Score: Up, Avatar, Avatar
Best Original Screenplay: Inglorious Basterds, Up, The Hurt Locker
Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air, Precious, In the Loop
Best Foriegn Language Film: El Secreto de Sus Ojos, The White Ribbon, Un Phophète
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove, The Cove, Food Inc.
Best Documentary Short: China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province, Unknown, Music By Prudence
Best Live Action Short: Ka'vi, unknown, The Door
Best Animated Short: A Matter of Meat and Loaf, unknown, Logorama
Best Sound Mixing and Editing: The Hurt Locker, Avatar, Avatar
Best Art Direction: Avatar, Avatar, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Best Cinematography: Avatar, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Hurt Locker

The following named films for each category is for who will win.

Best Makeup: Star Trek
Best Costume: The Young Victoria
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Editing: The Hurt Locker

Now to see if I can beat my prediction record of... what? No no no. It has to be higher then that. doesn't it?

The Harder They Fall

2010-03-05T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

A big mess has been made over one newspaper article. So, it's been a fairly normal day in the media. A newspaper writer covering the story over the fight for the privilege to chave there vehicle clean the ice at the Vancouver games, and one word launched him into a heap of trouble. The story of that man, the overreaction of his enemies, what drove them, similar products, and if you are obliged to do anything today.

One columnest. One word. One company. One idiotic story. A man writing for the Calgary Herald was writing about the fight to be the official ice-resurfacing machine of the XXI Olympic Winter Games when he used the word "zamboni", even though it isn't the name. Zamboni is a company in California (yes, readers, I think that we can all see the irony of the southern company being so dominant in the industry) that makes the machines. Apparently, they took offence that other products were anyway like there's. I don't believe that a lawsuit is being pressed at time of publication. But I haven't researched very far into the issue, so I may not be the best source. Hey, it's hard to be one person and do a post a day. I have to try and do it fast. Don't judge me.

But why take so much offence? I mean, in genereal, having your brand name ossociated with your product type is a good thing, am I right? I scowered the web- the place where it would be-for a while, and couldn't find a single thing. So I had to do some deep soul searching and imagining, and I found out why I would do this if I were them. I would probably do it because I need a sense of individuality. I am my own company, and no one else is. Besides, I wouldn't want to A) have my consumers mistake their product for mine and buy it, B) my buyers realize that theirs is a knock off brand that's cheaper, but just as good (applies to almost everything besides the zamboni situation), or C) pass up this amazing oppurtunity to get word about my product out there. But I wouldn't make such a big deal of it. That's just blown up in the media filter. Or is it? Who knows. Maybe the makers are just melodramatic. Or a mix.

But this could be a bad thing for the company. This is automatically dipping into people's homes and telling them "hey, I'm an awesome company that is just like the one you like, but cheaper". But maybe not. It really could go either way. But right now, I want to hear from you. Do you think this would make you buy a zamboni from the Californian company or some other company. Personally, I didn't realize there was more then one major ice-resurfacing machine company. There was obviously more then one, but one major one. Apparently I'm wrong. I'd probably buy from one near me. But I know a lot of people who would choose to buy from the more well known company because it likely has a better quality machine.

And one last opinion before I sign off. None of this was necessary, because the word "zamboni" is in the Oxford dictionary. If it's in the dictionary, it's officially a word and a company name. So bam!

iPod Accuraquiz Bonanza

2010-03-04T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I know it's been a long time since I've done an accuraquiz, but I had a few ideas for one, and I couldn't put it off any longer. And I even came up with a new scoring system. Now, a few quizzes for you to take focused on Apples products and new cult item. Which iPod is most like you, and which iPod is best suited for you. Find that out today. Or tomorrow. Or whenever you have the time to take them.

Which iPod is most like you? Rate the following statements at 1-4, 4 being like you, 1 the opposite.

You remember things well.
You remember certain things well.
You tend to change a lot.
You're a sucker for the oldies.
You love electronics.
You're a) medium height and a little chunky b) tall but slim c) medium tall and slim or d) small and medium wide.
You're versatile.
You show your emotions.

Which iPod should you get? Answer the questions.

How many songs do you have? a) 300 b) 1500 c) 2000 4) 10000
Do you need a small iPod?
Do you want games and/or apps?
Do you want to be able to access Wi-fi?
What is your budget? a) -$100 b) -$200 c) -$300
Is price a big factor?

Now I have to show you how to score them. Here's for the first one. You start with 5 points for each iPod. Then you add one point for the iPod you answered for, and subtract one from the farthest away from your answer. Say you answered three to question one, and that answer was for the iPod shuffle. You would add one point for shuffle, and one point for whatever number one was, because that's the farthest number from three on a scale of 1-4.

Answer Key for quiz one:
1= 1) shuffle, 2) nano, 3) touch, 4) classic
2= 1) shuffle, 2) nano, 3) classic, 4) touch
3= 1) classic, 2) shuffle, 3) touch, 4) nano
4= 1) classic, 2) shuffle, 3) nano, 4) touch
5= 1) shuffle, 2) classic, 3) nano, 4) touch
6= a) classic, b) touch, c) nano, d) shuffle
7= 1) shuffle, 2) classic, 3) nano, 4) touch
8= 1) shuffle, 2) nano, 3) classic, 4) touch

The second answer system is much the same, minus the take-away-a-point-for-the-least-like-your-answer part. The answer code for that one is:
1= a) shuffle, b) nano, c) touch, d) classic
2= Yes) shuffle, nano No) classic, touch
3= Yes) touch, nano No) shuffle, classic
4= Yes) touch No) shuffle, classic, nano
5= a) shuffle b) nano, touch c) classic
6= Yes) score one for whatever you picked last question No) disregard.

Yes, I do know that two quizzes is hardly a bonanza. But, when you think about it, no one really knows what in the world a "bonanza" is. So don't criticize what you cannot comprehend!

A Science Experiment for the Ages

2010-03-03T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As I surfed the web the other day, I came across this scientific study that I think made an interesting conclusion. Here's the write up by Scott Feschuk.

Let’s be honest: a lot of the Olympic sports being contested up at Whistler are not exactly spectator friendly. People in Vancouver get big-time hockey and a close-up view of skiers performing approximately 28 body rotations off the freestyle ramp. We get to watch various international specks fly off distant ski jumps, and glimpse cross-country skiers for whole seconds at a time before they disappear into the woods.

And then there are the sliding sports, which are all high-speed flash on TV but in person are like buying a ticket to watch a sneeze.

Which got the scientist in me to wondering: Would drinking six beers make the skeleton more interesting to watch in person? (FYI, the scientist in me is an alcoholic.)

In the name of advancing human knowledge, I conducted my selfless experiment.

Purpose: To see if drinking six beers would make the skeleton interesting.

Method: Drink six beers. Watch the Olympic men’s skeleton live at the Whistler Sliding Centre.

Materials: Media pass to enter Sliding Centre. Six 355 ml beers purchased over 109 minutes at the official Olympic concession stand (Brand: Molson Canadian. Total cost: $39). One warm pretzel (Cost: $5). One human bladder.

Observations:

The spectators' plaza
After one beer: The designers of the sliding track created near the finish line a spectators’ plaza, which is meant to be the primary gathering point for fans (although you can walk the length of the steep track and watch from anywhere, if you don’t mind your calf muscles divorcing you the next day). From the plaza, you can view a skeleton competitor take a series of final turns. If you’re capable of moving your eyes and turning your neck very quickly, you might be able to glimpse an athlete for upwards of 0.7 seconds. [Pause.] I’m going to need another beer.

After two beers: Whoosh. Nope.

John Daly, but not THAT John Daly
After three beers: I fall in a group of fellows and we bond over the fact there’s an American skeleton racer named John Daly. We imagine what the race would be like if the John Daly on the American skeleton team was in fact John Daly the fat, drunk golfer. We laugh and we laugh and we laugh. Then John Daly races and we realize, nope, just another skinny skeleton guy that just whooshed past. Nuts.

After four beers: The lady at the concession says the sliding track is definitely the most beer-fueled of all the Whistler venues. “We sell a lot of beer,” she tells me. Clearly, many fellow scientists are in attendance tonight. As I’m finishing up Beer 4, I get to chatting with Rick, an American. His jacket says, “Rick.” He’s kind of making fun of skeleton but then a sled wooshes by – we’re standing quite near the track; the sound is loud – and Rick reacts as though he’s just been hit in the head by Megan Fox’s thong. “Whoooooaaaaaaa!” he screams. “That was unbelievable.” I’m getting kinda tipsy but I think he’s being serious. “It’s like a space-age thing, like going through space in a rocket!” Rick and his wife and friends were getting ready to leave but now Rick wants to stay for a couple more riders. His wife keeps walking, but Rick doesn’t seem to care. Women. Am I right, Rick? Damn right I am, buddy. Sorry I just spilled beer on you.

I got one damn closeup photo of a skeleton guy in the actual frame and dammit you're going to look at it
After five beers: The mood is good because Canadian athlete Jon Montgomery is in second place after the first run. Everyone is psyched. Some guy in a Canadian goalie mask just came at me and I said, Dude, if you’re the Canadian Jason, you should chase your victims not by walking at a steady pace but by tobogganing. Some people nearby laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever but then I realize they’re way drunker than me. The Whistler Sliding Centre: it’s like a great pub, but with sliding. I think I had more to say about how I felt after five beers but I can’t read what I wrote in my notebook. Could that scribble say “Lub terriers.” Probably not.

Finale: I finish my sixth beer just as Jon Montgomery launches from the top. I am into it now. People are yelling “Wooooo!” I am one of those people. But we’re not yelling “Woooooo!” nearly as loudly as we’ll be yelling it a few moments later, when Montgomery’s Latvian rival falls just short and Canada wins gold. Our first medal to be won in Whistler! And we saw it in person! Very briefly!

Conclusions: Drinking six beers definitely helped make the skeleton interesting. But it’s possible that part of the interestingness came not from the beer but from the presence of a Canadian racing for gold. I’m going to have to declare my findings to be inconclusive, and begin filling out the paperwork to get funding for a second experiment: to the bobsleigh!

Fun, isn't it. I would try it sometime, but I'm under the legal drinking age. Officially.

Tip Top Shape

2010-03-02T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

With the Olympics done and over with. All the scores are poster, the winners known, and the fun had. Now I can finally do the post I've been waiting to do all about 19 days. The best of the games. And I don't mean who won the medals or beat records. I mean the winners of my own personal awards! Yes, when they're awards by Ann Nonymus, you know it's going to be good. Or at least creative.

Best Outfit
Jeff Pain- Skeleton- Canada
Runner(s) Up: Ryan Miller- Hockey- USA, Men's Team- Curling- Norway

Best Reaction
Women's Team- Hockey- Canada
Runner(s) Up: Women's Team- Curling- Canada

Sport That's Least Fun for the Crowd
Anything when you slide
Runner(s) Up: Curling, Cross Country Skiing

Most Corageuos Competitor
Petra Majdic- Cross Country Skiing- Slovenia
Runner(s) Up: Joannie Rochette- Figure Skating- Canada

Most "Oh My Gosh" Moment
Sweden winning over Canada, women's- Curling
Runner(s) Up: Alexandre Bilodeau's win- Moguls- Canada

Sorry I couldn't think of more, I'm tired. Live with it. If I can, I'll add more later. I make no promises.

Coming to a Close

2010-03-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As I promised, I am doing the parallel to my post on the commencing ceremony. Enjoy!

They raised that last arm of the torch. Too little, too late. But I did like the mime and pyrotechnics.
The large amount of performers dressed in white during the performance of Inward Eye. Don't they know that you're supposed to wear black to a rock concert? But seriously, did you see the race of those people. I swear that there was only one Caucasian in the bunch. It's this kind of racial false representation that makes people reply "I didn't know half of Canadians were Aboriginal, and the other half was French!" And, while I'm at it, why was the only lyric Vancouver?
The kids they used for the national anthem weren't the cast of Glee!
They had to escort the flag bearers in. Do they just automatically assume we're too stupid to find our way to our spot? That's sad, but I don't know on who's part.
All the athletes are grouping into their countries, even though it's free roam. That doesn't show the Olympic qualities.
They used opera singers for both of the anthems, Greek and Olympic. Show of hands, who hear has an opera song on their iPod? I believe my point has been made. You're move, Four Tenors.
Having all the anthems, and long anthems at that, at the same time. Couldn't the schedulers have put even a little time between the songs, as to not bore the audience to death? Is that so hard?
Sochi's segment used Canadian kids. Need I say anymore. Actually, I don't need to, but I will. Man, they need stunt doubles for that?
Here's my long bullet on the subject of bilinguality. The opening ceremonies were criticized for not being bilingual. Are you kidding me? Half of it was in French, and only 15% (rough guess of mine) of our population is French speaking. You're getting more then you need or should get. Just live with it. But I will admit that some people obviously didn't have French as a first language, but it was vice versa. Just live. I'm sure you'll be able to.
The speeches. They were too long. There were parts that were moving, but the rest seemed like unnecessary time-filler, even though there wasn't any space too fill. We can survive with a thank you, merci bein. The 20 different thank you's were not needed. Nice, but not needed.
Yes, he's leaving. Wait... there's another guy! Great. Just great. There goes another 20 minutes of my life.
He declares the games closed. Wow. Anticlimactic much?
Neil Young. I'm going to get any more specific then that, because that would mean going on for as long as the speeches.
using the term "make love" on a program that no doubt kids are watching. Even more so that it's in a canoe.
claiming that a girl with the last name O'hara is Canadian.
The microphones make all the singers sound like the have a lisp. Save it for Music Man, Simple Plan.

After that, it was really good. A big inproovement.

And, as I promised yesterday, the medal count, using a 1, 2, 4 point system.

USA: 79
Canada: 75
Germany: 73
Norway: 58
Korea: 38
Austria: 34
Russia: 29
China and Sweden: 28

10. Switzerland: 27

And, as they said at the end of the show, good night/morning, everyone!

Medal Mania

2010-02-28T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As we round up the Olympic games out in BC, all the people over the world are turning to the medal count websites to see who came out on top in the end. But there is one thing that doesn't work is the consistency of these sites. All are scoring based on a different medal counting system. The gold count, the medal count, and the point system. But which one is the most valid, and the most widely used? All that today.

The counts are:

The overall medal count. This is the total of all the countries gold, silver, and bronze medals. This is the most widely used and recognized method. This favours countries such as the United States, who have a lot of atheletes, that are not necessarilly the best, but close.
Also, there is the gold medal count. This solely counts the gold medals, and the other colours are disregarded. This is the type used by Wikipedia. This favours countries such as Canada, who have a few but really good athletes. No, I'm not biased. Just a little swayed by previous knowledge.
The point system is another option. It assigns each medal a point value, and then adds up the total amount of points. I have never seen this used, but read about it in theory. This one really doesn't favour any country above another, and is very just. I, personally, use this one.

And these are the various grades of medal count.

I think that we can all agree that the point system is the most fair, because it does raise gold medals above the others, but doesn't eliminate the value of a podium finish. But there is one more variable in this type. To what degree does the gold get elevated? You could go with the standard and fair 1, 2, 3, but saying that the difference between 2nd and 1st is the same as 3rd to 2nd. The emotional difference is certainly not the same. You could see that the silver winners were crying because they didn't make gold, and bronze was just happy to be there. So I think that the point system should be 1, 2, 4.

So why isn't it? It's not very prevailent. As I said above, I've never actually seen it used for a medal count. But why not. Well, it really isn't an easy thing to set up on a website. All you have to do is to post the number of medals for each country and their total for the other two. For this one, you have to rig up some special chart for your site. And that's certainly not happening on this site. I don't have the tech knowledge, and neither do a lot of website technicians. So, for that reason, we won't be seeing the most fair counts until websites like Blogger become even more user friendly. That may take a while.

But I'm sure we can live with without the most fair count. The others are close seconds. But, just to be nice, I'm going to post a medal count of the top ten nations at the end of tomorrow's post. That will give you something to come back for. You are comming back, right? Right?

(Trying to) Suggest the Unsuggestable

2010-02-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I have been reading the news lately (big surprise), and I've been hearing a few webbers wondering about the closing ceremonies of Sunday. By the way, I'll be doing just what I did with their earlier counterparts for them tomorrow. They're trying tro figure out what's going to be in it. Today I make some suggestions on what they could do. Not like they're going to be in it. For one, they've had it planned for a while. For another, no one reads my blog.

They could:

eliminate booze and smoking. We don't want a repeat of the women's hockey victory party-on-ice insident.
recognize that Ontario is part of Canada.
give each attendee a shot glass of maple syrup.
call in P!nk's coriographers.
offer free Wifi.
two words. Swag. Bag.
have a huge maple leaf hanging from the roof.
hire Kanye West to stop Sochi's section and give props to Canada.
call in some more memorable Canadian celebrities for the music besides Nelly Furtato and... um... don't tell me. Oh, I'm sure I'll remember soon.
use more visual effects. They were Avatar-esque the first time around. Only this time, instead of whales, can we please have beavers?
oh, ya, Bryan Adams! That's who he was!
have a parade of all the medal winners.
have the snowboarder jump back into the rings.
use the same guy who did all the flips for the prarie segment of the first ceremony to replay some of the best moments of the games (especially the big wipeouts).
stop using shots of politicians. Why do you thing Harper prorogued parliment. So we'd have time to focus on the games.
somehow work in more music. Oh, and a chorus line. And some sort of goodbye song.
play the mascot angle a bit more. Those things are so cute they can't be ignored if you show them a bit.
use water. I don't know how and I don't know why, but that would be so cool to see sycronized swimming. I just feel sorry for the people who have to do the swimming.

What do you think, readers? Did I leave something out. And, after the ceremonies are done, Who's is better, mine or theirs? By the way, they could have used a few of the not-too-silly-suggestions. Better then a forest and Sarah McLachlan.

Morals and Medals

2010-02-26T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

You may not realize it, because I know I sure didn't, but the Olympics are closing in a few days. Yes, we do have the Paralympics, but can you really feel the sheer competitiveness of the Olympics while saying "Oh, I feel so sorry for them, not being able to walk" about your opponents. And I have noticed that the values supposedly treasured by the founders are not evident in these games. What these are, why they're not here, and is it just a vacation in today's post.

When we ask ourselves what the fundamentals of these tournaments are, we only have to ask ourselves one thing. Why were they established. Well, I think the modern games were invented for a variety of reasons.

To encourage international cooperation. This makes sense. Well, if you heard the talk of the hope of an Afghanistan peace treaty in spirit of this that didn't happen, then you'd already know.
To encourage honest and fair play. So that's what all the drug test, security check points, and gender clarification are for. I was sort of wondering...
To find the best in the world. Because we need to know who's the best so we can buy the cereal they're on and be big and strong like them.

These are the fundamentals that the games were based on. Okay, maybe they were built on land, but figuratively you know what I mean.

But why am I having to write this article on this topic. Well, I haven't seen our athletes representing these qualities lately. I don't just mean in Vancouver. I mean since about, let's see, any game since the start of the 90's. Let's start with international cooperation. I used one example in my explanation; the refusal to draw up a peace treaty for such a monumental event. Not even a further attempt after a single refusal. This is a war I half support, half don't. But, even with that, I know that they should have. Also, on the trust front, they have totally lost it. they can't believe that we won't take things to interfere with the delicate balance of the sports. I'm not saying that it's not justified, but the fact that it is justified is what worries and angers me. And for the third one, it is good to find the best in the world, but when the competitiveness goes overboard, like crying because you only got second place, is when the games need to stop and look at what they're doing to innocent people.

And what's to happen to the fundamentals of the Ancient games? Have they vanished along with our credibility, or are they just taking a break in another dimension for a while? Well, my law of effect and cause is that if something was once one way and then changed, then it can be changed back with the same amount of effort. So, when we lost our attitude back in the 80s when we became truly money-fixated and industrialized, it just sort of happened. So I guess we'll just have to wait until it just happens again. But who's to say when that will be. Society is like a teenager: it's views and wants are ever-changing.

So I guess, when you're 89, we'll finally have fun at the games if you're USA. Yes, Americans, I just dissed you. What are you going to do about it. You don't even know who I am! Ha ha ha.

Commercial Free? No, Free Commercial

2010-02-25T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As the world watches the Olympics, they are also forced to watch the commercials that come with them. I'm not sure, but I'd be betting that these advertisers are paying big money to have their product featured between big games like Canada vs Russia or the gold medal game. Do these commercials work? Are some of them crossing the line to using the Olympics as a desperate marketing ploy then as a great oppurtunity? And where is that line? Those questions answered here.

Well, I have always been a critic of the clips. Just search my archives and you can see that. Want more? Search "commercials" in my search bar. But these commercials generally don't work. Remember that I said generally. Not all of them are that bad. But they are just feeding off of the sport we were watching. And they congratulate all the athletes on their victories. We aren't stupid. We realize that you don't mean it. You're just pulling an Oscar by trying to be politically correct. And it's not working. None of this wants to buy into your product or service. Stick with the old tactic of doing cheezy, yet heartwarming profiles of our atheletes who have had to jump hurdles in their life. Something that the whole family can enjoy.

But when does it cross the line? Well, I think there's an easy answer to this question: when you say "the official ______ of the Olympic games/Candaian team". Especially if it's for something like a car. The Olympics has nothing to do with cars. They may need a car, but not official cars. True, the money they should get paid for these is a chunk of the funding, but I'm sure that we'd be able to make the same amount of money on something else. If you don't need it, don't endorse it. If this blog ever becomes famous, and I follow in it's footsteps, that will be my rule. It should be common sense, but not when money is on the line. Yes, because, in the grand scheme of things, money trumps all. All usual.

And there is nothing we can do. Nothing. We just sit here like... like sitting ducks. Sitting consumer ducks. I refuse to believe that. There has got to be something we can do. I mean, we are a huge crowd. A mob, even. If we can do something about the Berlin Wall and women not voting, then we can easily do this. But it will take drive. Drive that we may not have. But there has always been one trusted method to give us a bit of drive. Whenever a issue becomes to much for our kids, then parently instincts kick in and adults unite against a bigger company. Just look at what Marge could do to Itchy and Scratchy cartoons when she thought they were too violent. If they realize how much all these product/cashgrabs are affecting their kid's birthday list. They all want what they saw, and guess who ends up waisting money on them. I doubt I need to finish that thought.

But these commercials will only be lasting a few more days. Then we get to go back to... commercials! D'oh!

Bobsled Riding

2010-02-24T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Have you ever heard of a Canadian folk song called Donkey Riding? Well, if you haven't, I suggest you take a look at the song- or at least the lyrics- before you continue reading. I was presented with a challenge recently. To come up with another verse to the song. So today, I do just that. Times several. So now do you want to go to Youtube and search ""Donkey Riding"? Ya, I thought so.

Were you ever in Vancouver
Cheering for a greatful loser
When the gold went to a boozer
Riding on a bobsled?

(The boozer was Jon Montgomery)

Were you ever in BC
Where the fans all pay to see
Guys who have too much energy
Riding on a bobsled?

Were you ever in Callaghan Valley
Where the atheletes ski and ski?
But then they fall dead on there knees
Riding on a bobsled.

Were you ever in the Richmond Sqaure-
Where Canada supporters are everywhere,
But they all believe in being fair-
Riding on a bobsled?

Did anyone notice my little change of lyrics in these? Ya, I felt that donkey was a little too... abusive of an animal. I'll see you tomorrow. In the mean time, go ride a bobsled.

The Alterna-lympics

2010-02-23T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As the battle for gold and dominance rages on in Vancouver, with the world watching, I feel the need to be creative with some of the ideas of the sports they're playing. Today, I flex my imagination muscles and come up with sports for an entirely new and different Olympics. The Alterna-lympics. All the sports focus on things Canadians can rule. Below is the list of the sports, plus a brief descriptions.

Car Curling. You have to try and drive your car to the centre of a bullseye. The challenge: in Canadian winter conditions.
Extreme snow shovelling. Monday morning before you go to work. Monday morning before you go to work. Monday morning before you go to work. Be there. Be there. Be there. And help us. Help us. Help us.
Slush dancing. Just like ice dancing, but on slush.
Four man car-sled. A minivan/bobsled goes sliding down a sheet of ice. Part bobsled, part 401 on a bad day.
Tobaggaluge. Also know as a good sled run.
Kick-a-rock. Curling, only more like a lonely kid kicking stones as he walks.
Snowshoeing. Takes the place of cross country skiing.
Boot Jumping. Ski Jumping- the skis.
Biathalon. Going for a jog and then having a snowball fight.
Run cross. Going for a run when only select sections of the walk is plowed.
Sled slalom. Having to dodge trees that appear on the hill you sled on.
Skipping Skeleton. When you trip and fall down a hill.

And the last one. Foot hockey. Yes, it's still classified as a winter Olympic sport if you play it on snow, which I have seen people do. Everyday. I think my school needs an ice pad.

Tigers, Obamas, and Olympiads

2010-02-22T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The "n"th installment of the editorial cartoon series. Take a guess what they're about.

And you can expect more of these next week or the week after that or the week after that. In fact, don't expect them. Ya, that's better.

Skating Scourge

2010-02-21T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Figure skating is a very artistic and physically demanding sport, as most of its followers can tell. Over the year, it has become one of the sports that people say "I only want to watch that" about. But it's been falling victim to criticism on it's several controversies. These include skimpy costumes, bribing worries, and a new scoring system. But is all of it justified? And is the future of the sport going to be like all of this? More on that now.

But first, a list. You know I love lists. Just not ones that tell me what to do. Here are the things that have given the Olympic organizers a headache about this sport.

The skimpy and revealing costumes that some of the athletes are wearing. They range from a suit that looks like Elvis, worn by Roman Talan, but shows what was underneath. Underwear. Another incident was other Ukranians. Tatiana Volosozhar and Stanislav Morozov wore bright-blue jump suits that didn't leave much to the imagination. Complaints came pouring in to the events' organizers, asking for some kind of dress code for the skaters. Some of the pairs do it to stand out, others for fun, and the rest likely don't realize they are doing it. Who knows?
A second thing that happened to occur to this sport (wink, wink) was the cheating at the 2002 games. You know the one I'm talking about. With David Pelletier and Jamie Salé. And the sleazy French judge. Well, that seriously damaged the reputation of the figure skating management system. Just like Tiger Woods' affairs. nothing coulod retain their trust. They had to deal with it the best they could. They fired/suspended the people envolved and assured everyone that everyone was now trustworthy. Standard damage control. Not cutting it for their public.
So, they introduced a new scoring system. Fail. It was almost just like the old one, except it was more like ski jumping. Not a good thing there. If something is supposed to be replacing a different thing because the different thing is failing, the replacer shouldn't be reminding you of the replaced. That defies the whole purpose of the replacement. Are you still following me. Good.

I do admit that figure skating is not at all free of bribery. In fact, I don'see it helping at all in other cases. But it is just as vunerable as most of the other judged or refereed sports. For now. As for the costumes, well, they just can't be helped. They've been around forever. Not going to stop now. So just cover your eyes if it gets too revealing for you and just weather the blows as best you can. I'm sure you'll survive. Whiney little babies. No offence.

So is the sport doomed to a life of controversy? Despite the beliefs of the public, no. This sport is nothing new. It's just recently that it took it's dive into public intrest, editorial, and news sites. The lowest you can go. It hasn't always been this way, and therefore likely won't be forever. This is just a random stint that will never be repeated. So all those who are not fans of this incidious ranting will be glad to know that it is only temporary.

And I have one last thing before I sign off. If you appreciate this blog, go to the guest book on the side and say so. It only takes a minute and will show me that you care. Because I work hard to get a post a day done and it feels like no one out there appreciates it. And one day recently I felt like it just wasn't worth the work. If you like this blog, please recomend it to others.

Sincerely,

Ann Nonymus

Windows Woes

2010-02-20T15:47:00.008-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Over Christmas, I recieved a laptop. More specifically, a netbook. I had seen Windows 7 justs weeks before, and loved it's setup. It's sleek, modern design. So, you can imagine my dismay when I got on my laptop to find it was running XP, the OS I had been running for my whole life and was sick and tired of. So, I took a disk of Windows 7, only to find my Inspiron didn't have enough RAM. But with a few simple free downloads, I transformed my PC into the operating system. Does your story sound like mine? Read this and download.

SevenVG Refresh with Superbar by Vishal Gupta. This program is definitly a good start, and has all the little details that Windows 7 has, like the Aero features and the Show Desktop Button. It also makes the new Start Menu. The drawbacks are the fact that part of the AeroSnap feature doesn't work. The part where you can snap one window to half the screen and a seprate one to the other. Also, You have to download other things to go with it, but those are included in the package it gives you. Can be confusing for non-techies, so I recomend looking for a tutorial on Youtube. There are enough of them. These are some major details, and I use some of them a lot. I think that, if you like easier access to things and cooler icons.
ViGlance OneStep. This program helps with the start menu. This is what creates the previews of the window if you scroll over the corresponding icon on the taskbar. It also creates better icons on the taskbar. I haven't found a problem with this one yet, but if I do, I'll be sure to let you know. This one makes the whole look and attitude of the thing look and feel better.
These are by no means necessary, but I just felt that I wanted the entire 7 experience. The curors are different from XP, but not from Vista. So if you have Vista, poor soul, don't do this step. These do look more modern by a little bit. If you don't feel like doing more work, then you can also skip this step. Just Google "Aero Vista Cursors Download" and you should find a valid file.
TK8 StickyNotes. Dumb boring old XP doesn't have a Post-it Note Program. So, I took to the net in search of one that looks mildly realistic. The answer: TK8 StickyNotes. This program is free if you use the junior mode. It has a lot of restrictions (you can only have 5 notes at a time) but the space is unlimited per note. It has had a few tech glitches since I started it, but nothing major at all. I recomend for listers like me.
If you can, get your hands on the pack of desktop backgrounds that come with 7. They are awesome. If you can't don't sweat it. Just look for stuff that looks cool. They are really great, but hard to get your hands on. If you have a friend with the system, ask them to attach them to an email and send it to you. It's worth it.

Now, if you're not convinced yet, I have screenshots! The top 2 are computer (odd black blotches are censor bars), the second from bottom is Windows 7, and the bottom is & with a Dell Dock.

Man, if only I had this kind of thing when I was browsing to find the best programs. Lucky people.

The programs listed in the above post have the Ann Nonymus seal of approval, meaning they are virus free and work well.

The Hockey Showdown

2010-02-18T14:28:00.006-05:00

And here's my opinion:

You may not have heard this, but the NHL players were close to not playing in the Olympics. You read me right. If it wasn't for a single decision, you wouldn't have seen Crosby and Iginla defending Canada's honour. And now, Gary Bettman is trying to do it again for Sochi 2014. The fans are outraged. But he certainly has some good reasons. So once again, I attempt to solve an unsolvable issue. There are days when I feel my life has no purpose.

Here's what Gary Bettman says. He says that Jim Ballsillie is an unfit owner for an NHL team. Okay, here's what he says on this topic. He thinks that:

the games will conflict with the delicately balanced system of games fabricated by the NHL. They are very delicate. But anything can tamper with that. Weather, a schism. Even a gala. Yes, a gala. If a whole team or a significant part of it want to go to this gala, then the game may be aborted if it's major enough. Odds are that the games would have been cancelled or postponed either way. So stop your whining, Bettman, and just sulk instead. Alone. In a closet. Where no one can hear you.
the long break from the NHL will discourage Canada and the USA's hockey spirit. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I'm not sure I can even start to list them. But for you guys, I'll try. He's just trying to come up with a second reason. Also, he thinks that, without the NHL, we won't have any hockey. The whole point of this point was to let players play hockey. Stupidity. As usual, stupidity.

So what does he propose we do to find the best in hockey teams. Well, he has two options for us. One is a world cup of hockey. Yes, just like the Soccer World Cup, only as different sport and sponsor. I don't know why, but the Stanley Cup seems to much like it to have it work. It actually sounds like a hybrid of the Olympic Games, hockey division, and the Stanley Cup. A second proposal was to have the sport moved to the Summer Game. Did he have too much coffee before thinking up this alternative? Or is he like that all the time. He would be breaking so many traditions by doing this. And it doesn't make sense at all. You would need to build an entirely new venue for this. That cost taxpayer money. You know, the money that you rant about giving away every year. Ya, that money. Last is to have the Olympics only held in North America. Not only does this go against the principles of the Olympics (international cooperation), but this is just plain selfish. These other countries have their own inconviniences from the games, but they don't get this kind of thing. Why should we? So if the commisioner does get his way, then we should probably try some other option.

But this is about more then this single issue. This is about Gary Bettman's attitude. It is so selfcentred that I'm surprised he hasn't declared himself king of hockey. Well, I'm not. If he declared himself anything, it would be the world's only god. He thinks that he can do anything, no matter how many people it hurts or alters. This kind of thing needs to stop with the level of power he has. And once people, specifically high ranking people, realize that this is not the kind of thing that they want from a man who's supposed to love the game, not himself, he'll be out of a job faster then you can say "beavers can play hockey best". That will be the day. Into daydream mode I go!

But before that happens, I have to sign off. So I will see you people tomorrow. If you live near me. Other then that, you're out of luck.

The Fine Blue Line

2010-02-18T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Canada's hockey team has been dominating the Olympic games. The women's team beat Slovakia 18-0, owned Switzerland 10-1, and their male counterparts have been doing equally well, with an 8-0 game versus the Norwegians. These victories have vaulted Canada to the top of the standings, but at what price. Is the world seeing Canada as unsportsmanlike and obnoxious for not holding back a little more? And should they be doing so? More on that today.

A few days ago, near the start of the Olympic hockey season, a Quebec journalist and editorial writer released an article shaming our hockey teams for not showing any mercy against are opponents. This piece went on to question the team and coaches Canadian attitude. And this certainlyn wasn't the only article of it's kind. One like it was published in the Winnipeg Free Press. This kind of thing is all over the web. They can pop up anywhere. They aren't the most widely written or read, but they are out there. Some are requesting that the coach of both teams resign, others that a mercy rule be instated. And we aren't the only ones who are in the severe double didgets for point margin. One of the Olympic qualifiers went to Slovakia 82, Bulgaria 0. The possible issue is more common then you'd think.

But, when you look at the facts, it isn't an issue at all. The scoring system for the Olympic hockey tournament does take into account goals for and goals against. I'm not sure of the details of it, and I'm on a deadline for this, so I'll send you to find more info on this if you wish to. But even if it wasn't, this is the Olympic, people! The biggest event in hockey besides the Stanely Cup finals. If you score a goal in the Olympics, it's like winning a regular NHL game. It's big. They want to get a goal if they can. It's not a crime. These are not the minor leauges. When these players go to their home country, they see huge salaries and huge endorsements. It's not as if these few more goals are going to send them into depression. Besides, once the Olympics are over, people remember the medals, not the scores. And that side is wrapped up.

Now it's judgement time. We've seen the evidence of both sides, and now it's time for the judge, the Left Honourable Ann Nonymus, to do just that. Judge. My ruling: that both sides have a point, and I shall settle on a compromise. Canada should not have to cut back, and no mercy rule should be instated, but they should eliminate the scoring system that counts goals for and goals against. I have to say that a mercy rule would be questioning the maturity of these athletes, because that makes the statement that these girls are made too sad by a crushing defeat shown to handle. That wouldn't be respectful. If they eliminated the insentive to kick a hockey team when they're down, I doubt it would happen as often as now. Oh, and a last comment on this arguement. We may be breaking one Canadian moral when we don't show mercy, but we're embracing another by showing our fascination with hockey.

And now I must return to watching the Olympic hockey. That was not planned in anyway. Yes, I love the way the world works, too.

Twenty-First Century Vampire

2010-02-17T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Twilight is a global phenomenon. No doubt about it. The fans of the book and movie series flock from all corners of the western world to book signings and premieres. And fans have been forced to take sides in the romantic triangle. Today I make my pick, Edward or Jacob, a new option, and if the rivalry between the two sides has gone too far yet? And yes, I read the books. The local library needs a better selection.

I am team Jacob. I think that most guys and a lot of girls have been in this situation. Not necessarilay in matters of love, but other matters. The lovable other guy/girl has always been someone I could sympetize with. I think that all of us want to be Edward, but are Jacob. But who leaves there boy/girlfriend to protect them? He (or Alice) should have seen what was coming with the serious depression the two witnessed from their withdrawl. It wasn't a good thing to do, and everyone noticed. I don't really understand the agruement against Jacob. Yes, Bella and Edward do have chemistry, but so do she and Jacob. Did you not hear her describe her feeling around him?

I feel like it's impossible to frown when he's around me.

I'm not sure what part of the book that was from, but I'm almost sure it was. You can't call it an arguement if the other debator can use it, too.

But Twi-hards have recently come up with a new option. It's some famous that it's actually been seen on TV. SNL, in fact. Team Bella-is-being-whiney-and-doesn't-deserve-either-of-them. This is now an (unofficial) option. And it's being embraced by girls everywhere. Mostly because they're sour that they don't have to make the choice. They'd love to be her, and this is the only way they can show it: by implying that they should be Bella. But they may be right. Just read the first chapter and you can see that she is very arrogant and self absorbed. But I wouldn't say that she doesn't deserve true love. Everyone deserves true love. I may just be saying that because I am a very lonely sole, but that doesn't make it any less true. Everyone deserves to be happy, and I stand by that. I stick with my earlier statement of Team Jacob.

But on the same SNL sketch I mentioned earlier, they showed how intense the competition between the two sides can get. They uttered insults such as wet dog (Jacob), metal man (Edward), and stupid Twilight hater (teacher (the debate was held in a classroom)). Okay, I made that last one up, but I feel that it would have fit right in with the stuff they said. I will agree that this rivalry is good in that it inspires a healthy debate over morals, but when it crosses over the very fine line of dividing friends, I need to draw the line. We all love Twilight here. Okay, maybe not me, but everyone else. We all hate Victoria. No one here wants to see Bella killed (unless you live in Forks and have a chance with either of your dream dates). There are times when you need to just stop and agree to disagree and go see New Moon.

And when Eclipse opens in either summer or fall- I'm not sure- you can expect another post like this one. Yes, Twilight-ers, you do have to wait that long for another post on the series.

We Did It

2010-02-16T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

We did it. We did it. We did it, we did it, we did it. Do you not know what I'm talking about. Tisk tisk. You didn't watch the Olympics two nights ago, and you didn't read the end of my post yesterday. We won our first gold medal on home turf. This is a huge achievement. More on what happened, what's happening now, and what is to happen next. Hey, where are the three ghosts, the grumpy decreped man, and the crippled kid?

I was very lucky that I was watching the men's moguls last night. It was a moment that Canadian sports will remember forever. I'll give you a step by step replay. At first, our Canadians all placed well, but were eventually knocked off their podium position. Then one man from Australia had an amazing run, took first, and stayed there until our newest house hold name, Alex Bilodeau, got his run. He burst out of the starting gate quick as a flash, and was soon at the bottom of the hill, awaiting his results. They were good. Say, good enough to put him in first! But there was one last threat to Bilodeau's gold. And that threat was Guilbaut Colas. The skier from France was the only thing standing between us and victory. All Canadians were holding their breath. Lucky for us his run only took 24 seconds. The man had tripped a few times, but had a good time. Lucky for us, the judges prefered Bilodeau's style. He won and his crowd went wild. Even his cerebral palsic brother, who had been standing for the whole event, took his hand off the railing and shook it in the air.

Today we're still in shock. Our subconcious minds still haven't registered this fact. The commercials that were all about this being our year to win our first medal are still playing. We may know it in our minds, but not yet in our hearts. But the reaction of knowing it in our minds is certainly enough to please me. We can finally be looked across at instead of down at on the world Olympic stage. Or so we think. I didn't see that much looking down at us. I think that it was just in our minds the whole time. Either that, or our self esteem. But the reaction throughout Canada is all puffed-out-chest. We're so proud that we were able to dig ourselves out of a rut, despite trying to before and failing. Everyone is in complete euphoria that we all forgot our world issues. Ironic. Something that gave us world issues like boosted protesting took away our world issues. You've got to love the way the world works sometimes.

But what does this medal have to do with the rest of the Olympics and beyond? Because I'm all about the future. Well, the experts are saying a lot of things, like always. One of the big things I've been hearing is that this is going to take the pressure off the other Canadian competitors to win the first gold. This will help them win medals (another bit of irony, just for you). I partially agree with this statement. Because, yes this will definitly take a lot of pressure of the other Canucks in Vancouver (hockey fans, eat your heart out), and I'm sure they've been feeling it, but it's not going to make enough of a difference to help them climb the podium. Maybe from sixth to fifth. But that's it. Another thing that I've heard not as widely, but wish to touch on, is that this will increase the enlistement data of the less popular sports, such as moguls, ski cross, or anything that involves the word ski- no Canadian had won gold in moguls for a long, long time. I doubt this highly. As a middle schooler, I practically live in a hotbed of status quo following zombies. It takes a lot for it to change, even the sports section of it, and one medal, no matter the patterns that it breaks, will not change it.

You know what sucks? I didn't get to see the medal ceremony for this event. So if anyone has a link to a video of that in the internet, and would take the trouble to post it here, that would be awesome. I think you in advance. Never mind. I don't have enough readers to guarentee a URL, so I don't want to waste thanks. It would be better used on my mother, for everything she does. If you read this, Mom, thank me for the shout out.

Safety First (Place)

2010-02-15T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The death of Nodar Kumaritashvili, also known as the late Georgan athlete, has rocked the Olympics. The news spread throughout the games, and, ergo, throughout the luging, and in general sports, world? What did the Olympic Commitie do to stop this kind of thing from happening. And is it enough? All that and more in portion of my 2010 Olympic coverage. Yes, it's now classified as coverage.

It happened around Wednesday or Thursday last week. The would-be Olympian flew over the walls of the track during a practice run. He then ran into a contreate pilar at 90 m/h (150 km/h), killing him. Throughout the globe, news of the tragic happening was travelling from ear to ear, inbox to inbox, and cellphone to cellphone. His team considered backing out of the games in mourning, but decided to stay and compete in mourning. A fifth of the athletes wore black arm bands in support. But all of this reaction was fueled by the mourning of a life that didn't need to be lost, and also that this a saftey concern. This could have been prevented and happened to anyone. This also raises questions about how secure the Olympic facuilities are for their users. And if someone dies from it, we seriously need to look it over.

Now, what they've done. They say that they've overlooked the courses that were used in luge and skeleton, the most risky sports. For those wondering, they're the most dangerous events because they competitors wear no padding, they're going faster then a speeding train, they're around sharp objects, the walls are very short and slippery, and they can be going on their side half the time. So, since this whole problem was because of short walls, they... got a soda! No, I'm kidding. They lengthened the walls. But they did something else automatically. They strengthened awareness about a serious issue. Tons of blog posts like this are popping up all over the web, critizizing the respone to this occurance like I will be next paragraph. If tghis continues, I'm sure they'll be forced to take anouther look at how they dealed with it, giving them a second chance to make the right choice.

But this is not enough. A life is lost. A chance is gone. A last breath taken. This should be enough of a wake up call to get you to take a look at the track for longer then a day. This is a serious issue for the athletes. I don't think that I've ever accused someone with this kind of power for under- reacting, but there is a first time for everything. You should at least move the starting line up and the finish line down, giving you less of a chance to speed up and more of a chance to slow down. I am not an expert on this branch of sporting event, and I won't pretend to be, but there are people who are, and they should know what to do in a situation like this. And if they don't then we don't know enough about the sport to have it be in the Olympics. But it is still too late, no matter what we do, to bring back a great person and luger, Nodar Kumaritashvilli.

And I just want to give an update. Canada won it's first gold medal on home turf. In moguls, an event no one had won in decades! More on that tomorrow when our coverage returns. Thus wraps up today's Olympic coverage. Yes, I'm going to keep pushing that angle as much as I can for a while, so get used to it.

Extra, Extra

2010-02-14T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

This is a new feature, in which I state some of the news headlines and then give my own twisted, funny-in-theory commentary. This is not the only thing of it's kind, and has been done before. But, either way, I'll be claiming it as my own. Oh, and, before I start, I want to clear something up. I will no doubt be saying something about the death of the the Geogrian luger the other day. I just wish to remind people that I am saddened by the death, no matter how many jokes I make about it.

Other tablets becoming more popular then the iPad. But on the bright side, it's dominating the woman's hygiene market.
Man who sexually abused and murdered two girls is high ranking in the military. Man, it sounds like one of the first episodes of Lie To Me. Wait, where's the guy who looks like Hugh Laurie?
Another woman goes missing in Belleville. Or as it will now be known, Black-hole-ville.
Olympic ratings through the roof. Along with cost. And pride. And gambling loses. Gee, I wonder if these are connected.
Could chocolate lower the risk of stroke? Wow. First you tell us that chocolate is too sugary, and then you tell us that it helps our head. You people do more flip-flopping then Michael Iggnatief while pretending to be a fish out of water in flip flops.
Raw milk farmer appeals court ruling. Yes, we grow raw milk. It's a pretty big market, especially for cheese makers and Tiger Woods. He liked anything that has to do with rotten.
Tiger Woods is finally out of the spotlight. Hey. Wait a minute. If you're saying that, then doesn't that put him in the spotlight. But then... but that... ow, my head hurts.
Celine Dion didn't sing the Canadian Anthem at the Opening Ceremonies. But then they brought in the African-American opera singer for the Olympic anthem, and that filled a void that shouldn't have been filled.
New version of We Are the World is released. Is it just me, or is this a cash grab the size of the MJ documentary. Odd, considering the song...
Georgan luger dies after running into pole on practice run. Is it just me, or does this sound like it shouldn't have taken place on the luge track, but on the 401?
In related news, the track is declared safe again. I see another reference to Michael Jackson coming. Oh, here it comes. Hold it. Nah, the moment has passed.
Lady Gaga-like fashion designer dies. Somewhere, she's crying in the last gown he made for he. It starts to rust. Enough said.
Google fixes Buzz privacy issues. I see a dark future of redesigns and Hollywood films in Buzz's future. Hey, I'm just looking at my Facebook account. Meh, either way.

And that's it for now. What do you guys think. A good concept for this blog? Did it get a few chuckles out of you? Comment, people.

Olympic Spirit

2010-02-13T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Before I begin this post, I would like to remind you that this is being written a day before it looks like on the web page. Right now, I am sitting here, watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympic Games, although it says that those were yesterday. Man, I love Blogger's schedule-your-post feature.

As I said in the above blurp, I'm watching the opening ceremonies right now. Is I speak, the flag is going up the flagpole. Well, as I type. These ceremonies are traditionally amazing. But the only few things that have stood out so far. Nikki Yanofski's national anthem and ice statues that can move their arms. But the show is still young. But, you know, I like to rant. So I'm going to list all the things that were wrong with the opening ceremonies and their traditions.

The natives getting the huge section near the beginning of the ceremony. This is just to stop their protesting. It seems to make them happy that they're getting thrown a bone. What's even worse, they don't even seem to know. It's sad that they can get away with this after all the conflict they've had. Makes you think about what's really worth fighting for these days.
That not all of the people from the other nations were wearing black arm bands. Not even all of the lugers were. After the untimely demise of the Georgian luger the other day. Come on, people. Show a little respect and compassion for your fellow human being. You may have been competing against the guy if he was alive, but that doesn't make it any less impolite to not done the black arm band, especially if you're in luge or skeleton. If you are, then that could have been you having you team hang their heads through the whole time the flag was being brought out.
The Iranian flag bearer was a woman; the first in a winter games. Ever. And she was wearing a hijab. This girl can do better in her sport then 99.99% of the men in her country, yet is still forced to don the symbol of oppression. Figures. It's Iran.
That Canada is trying to get to the top of the medal count, even though we have never one a gold medal on home turf. The announcers were saying that this represents a major shift in Canadian attitude, from "hi, welcome" to "we're going to kick your butt from here to Ottawa". This is an exaggeration. If you've seen the Coka-Cola commercial about the international snowball fight in the Athlete's Village, then you know that we're still very kind and playful, as always. This is not some big new strategy. This is just a plan to win after some many humiliated defeats. You can't blame us, can you. I may not support the goal, as it's too lofty for my liking, but I know this is still the same, friendly Canada. So come over. I don't bite.
The reference to global warming in the first section of the cultural half wasn't big enough. I'm surprised that I got it. If you're going to make a mention to it, you might as well make sure people will understand it. The games may be trying to be green, but they're not pulling it off.
The poor representation of the fiddle number. This was trying to show St. John's love of fiddle dancing, but winded up confusing me because, when it was conbined with the danced, made me think that this was Dublin, not Vancouver. They needed to be clearer with the dances, One tip is to have the dancer's arms moving around. Otherwise it looks Irish or Folk-like. Those are two things we are not.
There wasn't any mention of the real things that Canadians hold dear to them. Think about it. If you live in Quebec, when was the last time you thouht about the old legend of the guy in the canoe who was doing witchcraft or something like that? They should have captured some of the more usual Canadian traditions, like hockey, or skatting on a puddle. Maybe a bit of maple syrup for Quebec's section of the cultural part. They wanted to represent Canada. Well, they represented Canada's culture, but not Canadians. Think about that last sentence for a while, and it will make sense.

And that's it for now. I want to enjoy the rest of the ceremony in piece, so please let me leave. And, by the way, I loved the music and poetry. Who else did?

The Buzz on the Buzz

2010-02-12T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. No, I didn't magically turn into a bee overnight. If I did, how would I be typing this? No, I'm talking about the newest area now attempted to be dominated by the Google enterprises. It's a feature like Twitter or Facebook, only it corresponds with your Google account. There's a feature in your inbox of Gmail. So, is the movie by Google in the right direction? Or is it slowly descending into public hatred? Possibly both.

There is certainly a bandwagon. No denying it. We're seen the rise of social networking websites in the past decade, as shown by the insert. After starting with Youtube, Blogger and Myspace, and then branching out to Facebook and Twitter, the world has gone to the Internet. You can completely interact with the outside world with the click of a button. All you have to do is type. But I think that the world has had enough virtual gab to suit us just fine. I don't think that we need another one. many people, including be, are accusing Google of just following the trends, and copying Twitter.

But this isn't so horrible. I mean, You don't have to sign up for it if you don't want to. It's not like everyone is using it and you feel socially obliged to use it, otherwise you'll be so lame that no one will talk to you. By the way, jumping on the bandwagon isn't so bad. I'm one to talk about that, seeing as a have a Facebook account that I almost never use. It may not have any perks that separate it from the rest of it's social media family, but so what? Neither does Twitter! You don't have to create a new account for Gmail users, so it's really nothing new. It doesn't have to be all bad. You just have to look on whatever bright side there is.

Now for my actual opinion on the matter: Google Buzz is just some lame attempt at a social media site, and isn't a good idea, but not because it is a social network. It just isn't creative enough. There is nothing that separates it from other applications of it's kind. There is no following/fan, there are no games. Nothing like that. They better upgrade that, soon. No one is going to buy into this useless program for long, once they realize that there are many, much better options out on the web. Google may be on top of the virtual world right now, but in a year or two, if this variety of thing continues, they may be forced to bow to Yahoo, or maybe Bing. By the way, some people are calling this a cash-grab, even though this is a free service. People, you have to be more precise with your complaints.

Now I want to hear from you. Do you know anyone who's "buzzing?" Unless you're that girl who seems to train the bee boy in the Honeycomb cereal commercials.

Quickpinion 4.0

2010-02-11T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I'm sorry, faithful readers. I couldn't come up with any humorous opening paragraph! I'm such a bad person. I can't believe I let all of you down. You rely on me to give you intelligent and witty commentary about the news of the day, and I repay you by faltering our trust! I don't deserve to be typing these words. Wait, is this amusing to you? Yes! I mean, my plan succeeded! So, without further a due from my rambling, my (Quick)opinion.

This is the year that we get to celerbrate 20 years of yellow. Yes, the Simpsons is turning the big two-O. The show passed the record for longest running prime time show a few years back and every second coninues to break it's own record. Or was it the longest running animated primetime show? Meh, I don't care, and, frankly, don't want to do the work. But this show is my second favourite (nothing beats SNL, even though I've only seen a few episodes). But it seems like it's grown to be more then a show. No, not because of "The Simpsons Movie". But that does help. No, I'm talking about it's power in Hollywood and the rest of the entertainment industry. If you're ever featured on it or guest star on it, then feel proud. You are officially noteworthy. You may be made fun of brutally, but noteworthy. They just love poking fun at anything they can. But do you know why this show is bad. It was too much power. We may be the ones giving it the power by taking it so seriously, but it should be more responsible. With great fans comes great power with which comes great responsible. They may not realize it, but they have too much power for their own good. I'd guess that, after they aired an episode in which TV's most disfunctional family took a trip to Rio de Janerio, that city's tourism industry looked like the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's safety rating. I know that the Simpsons maturing would be too much to ask. If Bart hasn't turned 11 by now, he never will.
Debates over whether dating sites are safe or not are redundant. Dating sites are not safe. Nothing is safe. At least, not totally. We shouldn't care. No one is going to force you to put your name onto one of those things, so you shouldn't even enter this debate if you have no interest in these things. It's unneeded, unliked, and just plain nosy. It's their life and their body or mind to mess up. You shouldn't be trying to interfere. but this debate does raise an idea of mine. We're becoming more cautious with our love life. This may not necessarily be a good thing, but it's certainly a thing. It's showing that we're finding the responsibility that the human race lost in the sixties or seventies. By the way, I have to take the side of the online daters. There is undenyably a risk, but it's not a big enough risk for me to give up a chance to find a new "special someone". That may just be my inner romantic talking there, but I don't care. It's almost Valentines Day, people. Lighten up your heart a little.

And that wraps it up. Can you tell me if you liked it. I may not sleep until I know if you were pleased or not, the anxiet...[snore].

The Olympic Issue

2010-02-10T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As the Olympic Games draw ever closer, and Vancouver prepares for the monumental honour of being the worlds center of attention. And in a good way! But there have been several hurdles that the officials in BC have had to jump. There have been protesters, terrorism threats, and the most fearsome of all: budget overjumps! It's horrible, I tell you. But the Olympiad planners have tried to overcome all of the issues raised. Did they work? Let's see.

One of the most major troubles that plauged the people behind the event was the terrorists. They may not have made any direct threats or anything like that that I've read of, but they have definitly had an underlying tone throughout the games. The email I talked about on January 16 and 17 may have been seriosly outdated- try half a decade- but it did have a point on terrorists moving away from planes and to stadium events. So, just like all the world, they strengthed their security. They're using metal detectors and doing air patrol over the skies to make sure that there's not "suspicious" aircrafts paroosing the airways above the venues for the games. Practically, they're doing the same thing they did at the Pentagon before 9/11. Look how that turned out. They became the latest terrorist target that no one remembers. I doubt that there will be any suicide bombers striking here, but they idea that they think this makes us safe sickens me.

Another annoyance they've attempted to deal with is the protesters. There's a whole bunch of different things people are protesting, as always, and they all congregate here, to show their concern to the world. I wish I could be there chanting cries at the spectators in a bloody seal costume beside my fellow crusaders for seal rights. Besides that, Canadian's are protesting the fact that the games are being preformed on land "stolen from the natives". They're taking the same amount of action against the people, but they've had to kick it into overdrive for the number of different groups holding protests there. The've actually exceeded their budget 6-fold! This can't be worth it for the amount of money they've spent. They're just throwing money, hard earned tax payer money, out the window in hopes that it will help. These people are only trying to get a message out. Let them. Trust me, it won't interfere with your precious money-making schemes.

And last but most likely not least is the lack of snow for the snow-needing events. Has anyone reading this seen the outdoor Olympic venues lately? There's not enough snow to ski on. Anyone, not just a skier, can see that. Unless a billion automatic snowmaking machines drop from the clouds tommorow morning in just the right place and angle, some of the events may have to be postphoned. And until when? Who knows the next time Vancouver sees white will be? It's a pretty rare occurance this year. And there's not much the timetable setters can do about this issue. That's why the IOC (International Olympic Committe) should use some of the excess revenue from these and the London 2012 games to start funding research for an indoor ski hill, Olympic size. Weather is uncontrolable, and the games need to be in control. Gosh, I sound like a Gillette ad. Minus the cool pictures of random sport-themed celebrities.

But the Olympics are coming in two days, whether Canada is prepared fully it or not. If it's not, can't we just give it three days grace?

The Blue Man Movie

2010-02-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I went to see Avatar. I just remembered to do a post on it after the box office king/queen/movie was dethroned by Dear John, the Amanda Seyried/Channing Tatum drama/romance chick-flick. Personally, I didn't think Dear John would be good enough, but that was just me. Anyway, back on the topic. Today I get to talk about the movie that thrilled, infuriated, and interested the entire globe. Well, maybe not the entire globe. A good percentage of the globe.

As I said, I went to see Avatar. This paragraph is going to be my review of the movie. It was trash. That's relative to all the hype and good reviews it's been getting. I'd give it about 2.5 stars out of 5. The special effects were amazing! I mean they were the best I've ever seen. The plot itself were really creative, but it was barely sustained throughout the story. The writing was absolute [censored], and the rest of the movie was just fine. I can understand why people who don't think like a critic would love it, but I do think that way, and can't see anyone who enjoys intelligent screenplays and crisp dialogue loving this film. This is the kind of film that I would immediately rule out of Oscar contention, except for the fact that everyone besides me is in euphoria after leaving the theatres. That kind of film is the breed that the Academy wants to honour after the intense snubbing of The Dark Knight. Too bad they're not the same film at all. In fact, their structure is the exact opposite. So that plan kind of backfired.

But this seems to be becoming with James Cameron. He spends a record making the film, the critics and movie-lovers are divided trying to figure out if it will boom or bomb, and then the film sets all the box office records that it possibly can. The Canadian film maker must like this pattern, because it certainly makes him a lot of doe. But is this going to keep up in the future. We may not know for another half or three-quarter decade, because that's how long it takes him to make and publicize his movies. So, if the pattern does continue, and I think it may, considering it's worked for a while now, will it be a good thing for the film industry? Well, he certainly sets a standard. A blockbuster before Titanic grossed about $100M. Now a days it has to earn about $200M to obtain the status. If Cameron keeps it up, all other movies will be driven to extinction. No offence to the filmmaker or anything, but can we survive in a world with only Cameron's films for entertainment?

But not only does Avatar irk me and make a bold statement that I admire at the same time, but it is innovative. Now, that isn't so much praise for the movie as it is the movie's crew. The technology that they used- motion capture cameras that were used to convert the real actors into their CGI counterparts- is going to be used for decades to come. I heard one quote that wass a bit exaggerating, but really captured what I'm trying to say.

We remember the names of great artists like Picasso. In a century, we'll have another category on that list: film. At the top of that list will be a Mr. James Cameron.

This technology may not be the equivelant of 3D, but they definitly are in the same catergory. It will change the way the world makes films.

But Avatar, no doubt, will be staying in the headlines for a long, long time. It may not deserve it, but there's no stopping or even slowing the preformance of this amazing bulldozer in the form of a movie. So look out, Percy. You're a mound of dirt.

Superbowl Odds

2010-02-08T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

This article was written before the Superbowl took place, but appeared on this blog after. And no, it doesn't give my guesses on who wins the match. I bet you're wondering what this post is about. Well, I may tell you... or maybe not. Who knows? Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Gosh, stop begging. It's so annoying! It's saying what will likely happen and the opposite. But that's not it yet. Do you want to find out the rest? Keep reading.

The following will probably happen:

a cheerleader will flash the audience. In more then 3 ways. You may not be able to think of 5 ways, but they can.
someone will scream during the halftime show. Not just the fans. Someone on the stage.
the fans will do the wave, but the players won't care. They never care. Why don't they care?
at least half of the audience will be thrown out for causing the worlds largest drunken brawl that didn't take place between midnight of March 16 and noon March 18.
the other half of the audience will either forget who's playing, which team is which, who they're rooting for, or what way is home.
the announcers will use the words tremendous, backlash, take down, and comeback. All in the same sentence. Possibly one more time.
the ball will be torn apart by both a player doing a touchdown dance and a rabid fan attempting to gain possession of the ball after flies into the bleachers.
the mascots will ingage in a brawl which will lose them a pound of feathers, scales, fabric, or whatever they're made of.

The bowl will not feature:

any fully intact players.
any sense of self restraint by the cheerleaders or the other female employees.
talent on the part of the half time musicians.
any women who are actually into the game and not the men.
soberness. But I think that goes without saying.
sportsmanship.

You know what's sad? Half of that stuff may actually come true to some extent.

Quickpinion 3.0

2010-02-07T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The third installment of the trilogy: The Quickpinion Saga. You've waited. That's over. It's here. [Cheers heard in background]. The New York Times says "Ann Nonymus' performance is okay... but that's good, for us saying that". The Toronto Star says that "... Will it flop? Absolutely... not" Quickpinion 3. See it! This blog cannot be held liable if the quotes used were taken out of context of totally made up.

Toyota's handling of the recall was well executed. Some people have been giving them heck for not getting the word out and not offering an adequate solution while you are without a personal means of transportation. These people obviously do not work in that division of Toyota and have not had to try and organize this kind of recall. You have to find a way to break the news to the world without it sounding bad. And you have to get all these cars, I can't even guess how many, back, repaired, and sent back. You try that sometime. People are expecting the worlds leaders to be perfect at their jobs. Newsflash: they aren't. No one is. You certainly aren't. My advice would be to stop focusing on what the companies and government do wrong (and sometimes it's not even doing something wrong, just "not enough"), otherwise you're going to be bitterly disappointed almost all the time. So have fun with that.
Also today, who didn't see the whole torture in Afghanistan thing coming? I mean, come on, people. It's like politicians have a bet going on on who could keep their citizens in the dark for the longest. This is their kind of thing. So we shouldn't be all "Stephen Harper is an unfit Prime Minister." Over this, I mean. Look at it this way. We're beating up people who wanted to kill us and our country. It's like the playground. Only there it wasn't called a horrible breach of rights, but self-defence. What we should be doing is being mad at Harper for thinking like the opposition and that this was virtually a crime, sending him into hiding until the end of the games. What in the world does this accomplish? It makes you seem more like the coward you are, giving the opposition the lead and forcing us into a costly election. Take it like a man for all our goods.
There was been a lot of questions raised in the new millennium about detaching from the British monarchy and becoming our own nation. I'm Team Republic of Canada. This may not be so much a question of the British as it is independence and change. To start with the question at hand, not the other two revisions, the monarchy only approves the choice of Governor General every five years. I think we could survive without them. And with Queen Elizabeth almost gone, it would be very easy to just not proclaim Charles or whoever it is at that point King. But I think the main two opposing reasons would be a deep psychological need for stability or the fear of being attached o a different nation, most likely America. We'd just become 13 other states in the Eastern world's mind. If we hold strong like we know we can, then we can get through this and gain a new sense of independence and growth as a nation. But will the government think so, too? Well, looking at the polls from some websites (Have you noticed that I love the net?), the vote is split about even. Let's hope, for the sake of Canada as a nation, that the Queen dies after Parliament is reinstated.

So, what would you give the picture. I say five stars, even though the 3D was horrible. I think there's a reason for that.

Editorial Cartoons

2010-02-06T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I love these cartoons.

The Way the Ocars Should Be

2010-02-05T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Hello, ladies and gentleman, press, and those who are watching from their mother's couch while wrapped up in a Snuggie eating a bowl of popcorn. In other words, Tiger Woods.

I have been granted the immense honour of announcing this years Oscar Awards. Well, it's an immense honour for some people *cough*SandraBullock*cough*. Excuse me, I have the bug bug that's been going around. I believe it's called the cheesy-Hollywood-actress flu. It's been affecting many this time of year. To stay healthy, avoid watching anything staring Leonardo DiCaprio.

Pardon my manners; I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Ann Nonymus. You may know me from such blogs as The Opinion Monster or Poems to Soothe the Savage Beast.

I have been a viewer of the Oscars for as long as I can remember. But I'm an entertainment junkie, of course, so I have the memory of a goldfish.

What was I saying again? Oh, right. The Oscars.

Over the years, these awards have become more then just an outlet for bored Hollywood directors to voice their opinion on films they've never even seen. They have grown into a snobby, prestigious gala that lets secluded stars come out of their shells to honour films that no one even likes but the Academy thinks are "politically correct" films. It's a party all night long with these awards.

I will start with the Easy-To-Guess-But-No-One-Cares-About-It category, more commonly and officially known as Best Supporting Actress. The nominees are...

Wait! Before we start, I just want to lay down a ground rule. Flash photography will be permitted unless/until I do something stupid. Then all photo's or videos of the event must be erased promptly, or you will risk... well, we don't have a punishment set. Oh man, I just said that out loud, didn't I. Great. Now you know you have no motivation to erase media of my accidents. That was dumb of me. Erase anything saying that I just did that. If you don't, then... then... you'll feel really bad about it later. Ha!

And the nominees are...

That girl without a last name who hates her daughter in that film from Sundance that everyone thinks is going to win. Mo'nique.
Those two girls from that airplane film that aren't fighting over a guy when they should be. Anna Kendrick and Vera Farmiga.
The girl who one last year. You know, the trampy Italian. Penelope Cruz.
The girl who snubbed half of the actresses who aren't here now. Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Next up is the This-Guy-Should-Win-But-Won't awards, otherwise known as the Best Supporting Actor guys...

The guy who should be in the other male category. Matt Damon.
A zombie killer in a serious film. Woody Harrelson.
This year's "I'll grow a beard for my role" man, not including Brad Pitt. Christopher Plummer.
A guy who played a knife happy neighbour and a cook's husband. It's for the girl-killer, just so you know. The Academy Awards love their murderers. Stanley Tucci.
This year's won everything before this awards guy. Christoph Waltz.

Then comes the ladies again...

The husband of the murderer. Meryl Streep.
The comeback girl who no one wanted to come back after Speed 2. Sandra Bullock.
The young actress, yet in the dirtiest film. Gaboury Sidibe.
The costar to the beard guy from the above category. Helen Mirren.
The Brit. Carey Mulligan.

Then the men in the No-One-Is-Even-Going-To-Try-To-Guess-This-Category category...

Fly guy. In more ways then one this year. George Clooney.
The classy guitar strumming hillbilly. Jeff Bridges.
The period film actor of the year. Colin Firth.
The guy who almost got blown up filming his movie. Jeremy Renner.
The guy who got to play his "friend". They're more like aquaintances. Morgan Freeman.

And last and possibly least, the Too-Many-Movies category...

The one that everyone thought would win... until they saw it. Avatar.
The one that everyone cries about. Hey. that's the same film as the one I said before.
The one that made a statement. Seeing people almost get blown up is cool. The Hurt Locker.
The one that was endorsed by Oprah. That finally means something again! Precious.
The one about the unaverage American frequent flyer. Up in the Air.
The one war flick and no bomb detection agencies. Inglorious Basterds.
The one with aliens. Sorry, Trekies, it doesn't have Star in the title. District 9.
The one that everyone hates because it got nominated, but like at the same time. The Blind Side.
The one with the sad old dude and a talking dog. An unlikely pair. Up.
The one with the sad old dude but no talking dog. All he sees is pairs. Like, everywhere. A Serious Man.
The one with all the funny accents. Not blue people accents, but still. An Education.

And that wraps it up. Have fun ranting about it on your blogs.

Peeves, Pass-ups, and Phenomenons

2010-02-04T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Yesterday's post listed the newly announced Oscar nominations. At the end of the post in question, I said that I would list the snubs and surprises. Well, today I added another thing to this list. Annoyances. Things that got nominated that should be. The opposite of a snub. I have no idea how I'm going to organize this post, or come up with enough stuff to fill the post box, but I'm sure you'll have fun watching me try. Just try not to giggle too loudly, or I'll hear you.

First, the surprises:

District 9 and The Blind Side in the Best Picture race. The only thing that got Blind Side in this contest was Sandra Bullock's seemingly untouchable preformance in the film. Sure, it has heart, and this is the year of the fan favourite, but I still don't think it has enough in it besides Bullock to keep it afloat. Apparently, the Academy begs to differ. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that District 9 is in the running. I heard it's a great film: critics and fans alike love it. But it never really seemed like an Oscar kind of film. You know the breed. A heart string-tugging drama that features at least one epiphany. This doesn't have the je-ne-sais-pas that and film needs to sucseed in this award race. Neither has almost any chance of winning.
Maggie Gyllenhaal got a nod for Crazy Heart, the film that has been rapidly gaining steam. This was a huge surprise, considering she wasn't mentioned in any of the prediction posts I read on any of the entertainment blogs. Not that she isn't a great actress. Her proformance in The Dark Knight was really good in some places, but not Oscar worthy. I doubt this is too. Can't say that for certain, since I haven't seen the film. Just a guess. More like a hypothesis.
Harry Potter, the sixth installment of the series, actually gets a nod. It may be in one of the categories that no one cares about, but it's one of the more popular unpopular categoies. This will go hand in hand with one of the snubs, so keep watching. I am a selfproclaimed Harry Potter junkie, and have watched all the films, real all the books, and own a fake Harry's wand and golden snitch. This film was the best in the series, and the cinematography was worth it's nod, but I'm still surprised they gave it to him. Not that I want them to recall the nomination like Toyota or anything. Academy, don't get any ideas.
Michael Jackson's This Is It isn't it. It wasn't on any of the ballots. I know this wasn't a surprise to some people, but it was to me because I didn't know about the time span on the Best Documentary category. This year, to be nominated, the film had to be released between Sept. 1, 2008 and Aug. 31, 2009. The film was released October 28th. Viewers and MJ lovers will have to wait until next year to root for the King in this race. Also, the artist's songs weren't eligable for the Best Song category, because the technical name for the group is Best Original Song. None of the songs featured in the film debuted with the film, so they don't count. Not a great year for Jackson. first he dies, then he can't win an Oscar. Must hurt.

Now, up is the snubs:

I'm not sure which film to choose here, but one of the animated films lost it's spot, most likely Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. The Academy decided to honour a lesser known film, The Secret of Kells, over one that kids and their families went crazy for. This desicion isn't that bad. Come one, people. The other four nominees were kid-friendly (Coraline, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Princess and the Frog, and Up). Don't be greedy. Besides, everyone knows Up is a shoe-in.
Almost all of the Best Song Nominees from the Golden Globes. The only one song that was the same in both awards was the winner of the Globes, The Weary Kind from Crazy Heart. Oscar chose 2 songs from The Princess and the Frog, one from some film called Paris 36 (don't worry, I haven't heard of it either), and Nine's Take It All. The Globes had one from Avatar, one from Everybody's Fine (Rob De Niro's drama), and, from Brothers, Winter. They also had Nine in the running, but in the form of Cinema Italiano. I don't know who's right here, but I don't care.

And the things I hate about this year's crop:

Avatar's 9 nominations. The film sucked. Royally. The only ones it deserved were cinematography, special effects, and director.
People believing that Avatar deserved those nominations
10 Best Film nominations. Half of them didn't deserve the mighty honour.
Avatar!
Sandra Bullock having a chance of stealing the Best Actress award away from Meryl. That reminds me. I've got to update my Oscar odds post.
The Princess and the Frog getting two Song nominations while Nine has to live with only one. I swear, I have to get the Nine soundtrack.
Did I mention Avatar? Well, I am now, just in case I fogot to before now.

And I think that's it. You can bet that I'll be watching the Oscars and blogging about it at the same time in a month. Also, apreciate the title. It took me forever to find 3 words with those exact meanings that have the same first letter. Good thing I own a thesaurus.

The 2nd Best Day of the Oscar Year

2010-02-03T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Yesterday was the runner up to the best day of the media year, second only to the day of the Oscar telecast. The day the nominations were announced for the Academy Awards. Today I'm going to list the nominees and tomorrow I'll give my take on the snubs and surprises. I'm sure you guessed that I have a take, but I just like to inform the newbies to this blog and remind anyone who hasn't been on in a while. Or has Alzheimer's. That too.

Actor in a Leading Role
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon in “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia"

Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Animated Feature Film
“Coraline” Henry Selick
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Wes Anderson
“The Princess and the Frog” John Musker and Ron Clements
“The Secret of Kells” Tomm Moore
“Up” Pete Docter

Art Direction
“Avatar” Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Art Direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro; Set Decoration: Caroline Smith
“Nine” Art Direction: John Myhre; Set Decoration: Gordon Sim
“Sherlock Holmes” Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Young Victoria” Art Direction: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Maggie Gray

Cinematography
“Avatar” Mauro Fiore
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” Bruno Delbonnel
“The Hurt Locker” Barry Ackroyd
“Inglourious Basterds” Robert Richardson
“The White Ribbon” Christian Berger

Costume Design
“Bright Star” Janet Patterson
“Coco before Chanel” Catherine Leterrier
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Monique Prudhomme
“Nine” Colleen Atwood
“The Young Victoria” Sandy Powell

Directing
“Avatar” James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” Jason Reitman

Documentary (Feature)
“Burma VJ” Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
“The Cove” Nominees to be determined
“Food, Inc.” Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
“The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers” Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
“Which Way Home” Rebecca Cammisa

Documentary (Short Subject)
“China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province” Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
“The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner” Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher
“The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant” Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert
“Music by Prudence” Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett
“Rabbit à la Berlin” Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra

Film Editing
“Avatar” Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
“District 9” Julian Clarke
“The Hurt Locker” Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
“Inglourious Basterds” Sally Menke
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Joe Klotz

Foreign Language Film
“Ajami” Israel
“El Secreto de Sus Ojos” Argentina
“The Milk of Sorrow” Peru
“Un Prophète” France
“The White Ribbon” Germany

Makeup
“Il Divo” Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
“Star Trek” Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
“The Young Victoria” Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

Music (Original Score)
“Avatar” James Horner
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Alexandre Desplat
“The Hurt Locker” Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
“Sherlock Holmes” Hans Zimmer
“Up” Michael Giacchino

Music (Original Song)
“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
“Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Best Picture
“Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
“The Blind Side” Nominees to be determined
“District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
“An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
“The Hurt Locker” Nominees to be determined
“Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
“A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
“Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer
“Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

Short Film (Animated)
“French Roast” Fabrice O. Joubert
“Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell
“The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)” Javier Recio Gracia
“Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin
“A Matter of Loaf and Death” Nick Park

Short Film (Live Action)
“The Door” Juanita Wilson and James Flynn
“Instead of Abracadabra” Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström
“Kavi” Gregg Helvey
“Miracle Fish” Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey
“The New Tenants” Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

Sound Editing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson
“Inglourious Basterds” Wylie Stateman
“Star Trek” Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
“Up” Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

Sound Mixing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
“Inglourious Basterds” Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
“Star Trek” Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

Visual Effects
“Avatar” Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
“District 9” Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
“Star Trek” Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
“District 9” Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
“An Education” Screenplay by Nick Hornby
“In the Loop” Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Up in the Air” Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)
“The Hurt Locker” Written by Mark Boal
“Inglourious Basterds” Written by Quentin Tarantino
“The Messenger” Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
“A Serious Man” Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Up” Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

Quat Quotes

2010-02-02T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

No, cats do not speak. It would be awesome and would make life a whole lot easier if they could, but they can't. Today I list a collection of quotes that have to do with cats and other pets. Most of them are by me, but I'll through in a few unoriginal ones, just for good measure. And, if you like dogs, then I would step away for your computer, to avoid beating it up in rage. Just a suggestion, though. If you don't want a monitor, then stay, Be my guest.

"I pity the one who isn't up at four AM for food and cuddles," -Ann Nonymus
"It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens," -Cynthia E. Varnado
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't" -Nan Porter
"Dogs may be a man's best friend, but men are a cat's best friend," -Ann Nonymus
"Cats do not eliminate pain, but they do replace it with a need. Their need" -Ann Nonymus
"When your kitty purrs to you, doesn't it break your heart that you can't purr back?" -Candea Core-Starke
"If you're allergic to something, it's best not to put that thing in your mouth. Especially if that thing is cats," -Daniel Handler, under the pen name of Lemony Snicket
"The lines under your eyes after a hard night of feeding a furry friend shouldn't be called bags. They should be called love lines," -Ann Nonymus
"Home is where you can cuddle with a family member for an hour and a half and not have it look weird," -Ann Nonymus
"The best kind of alarm clock is the purring kind," -Alexis F. Hope
"Have you even seen a tense cat? My point." -Ann Nonymus
"One cat just leads to another," ~Ernest Hemingway
"You can not look into a cats eyes and not believe in love at first sight," -Ann Nonymus
"I pet her and she pays me back in purrs," -Star Richés
"You can pick it up from a shelter, but you take her home," -Ann Nonymus
"The ultimate question in life: what is better, a high five or a shake-a-paw?" -Ann Nonymus
"Time spent with cats is never wasted," -May Sarton
"The only antidote for a dead cat is a live one," -Ann Nonymus
"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet," -Colette
"LAW OF CAT INERTIA -A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.LAW OF CAT MOTION -A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.LAW OF PILL REJECTION -Any pill given to a cat has potential energy to reach escape velocity." - Anonymous. Not Ann Nonymus, anonymous.

And to all the dog owners who think cats are high maintenance: let's go take our pets for a walk. Oh wait. I don't have to.

This post is dedicated to Tommy, the newest addition to our family.

The Hockey Life

2010-02-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Yesterday was Hockey Day in Canada, held in Stratford, Ontario. This was a big day for almost a quarter of Canada, as almost half of the countries (air-quote) devoted husbands (end air-quote) park themselves in front of the television for 12 hours and soak up all the hockey they can take. But it seems like, soon, the title will read "Hockey Day in the USA". We're losing our land's most loved sport! Can we stop this transition before it's too late? Woah. When did this before an episode of 24?

Instead of doing my usual ramble/rant on the subject, prooving that it is a problem, I've decided to present some stats.

24 of the 30 teams in the NHL are American based. That's 80%, or 4/5.
A Canadian team hasn't won the cup since 1993. That's 17 years of American dominance.
21 of the last 30 Stanely Cup wins have been for American teams.
The NHL commissioners wouldn't hesitate to dump the Jets and the Nordiques, but are fighting battle after bloody battle too keep the Coyotes in Phenoix.
The first, third, and fourth highest attendence ratings are for American teams
For some more, unbiased opinions, check out this link: http://www.andrewsstarspage.com/index.php/site/comments/nhl_average_attendance_since_1989_90/118-2008-09.

Now do you believe me? Thank you. Oh, and mom: would it kill you to support this idea? [Whispering to the rest of you] She's in denial.

But you know what really annoys me. We're losing it to the Americans, and they don't even want it. It's like our mom is selling our favourite toy, and we're not stopping her, but no one wants to by it. Don't they realize how much it meant to us? They could at least appreciate how much hockey means to us. Look how many sports they have. Football, baseball, basketball. All we have is hockey. I mean, no one ever watches lacroose or anything like it, and ringette is only for girls who don't want to play minor hockey. It used to be the thing that only Canadians could play. That all stopped at the invention of indoor rinks. No other sport can ever fill the void that hockey filled. It brought us together, yet it divided us in a fun way. Nothing without it will ever feel as Canadian.

But does all of this have to be a bad thing. Sure, we're losing a great love, but, like the saying says, when one door closes, another door opens. We could get a whole new sport out of this ordeal. Not just one of the many up and coming sports, but a whole new sport can be born from this experience. Hey. I just thought of something I can do when I'm bored. But this could be an oppurtunity to broaden Canada's wings. Across the world, but mostly in the USA, we're known just by a few stereotypes like "eh", maple leafs/syrup, and hockey. Do we want to be stuck as the beaver nation for the rest of our life as a civilization? I really don't think so.

So if we do have to give up our favourite sport, then so be it. I won't give the collecters any trouble. But if you're one of the die hard hockey fans who lives, sleeps, and dies hockey, then just remember that you can pick up American channels in almost any of the first world countries. Just a friendly reminder.

Consumed Children's Advertisers

2010-01-31T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I've been noticing that there has been a lot more children who have been comsumerifyed (definition: made a consumer) at a young age. Throughout the media, things have been popping up that are encouraging little children to buy stuff at young ages, even though they aren't advertisers. Has the world really become so bleak as to expect that kids will want to become corporate pawns at the age of five? And are some of these things such evil ideas?

I'm just going to take one of the ideas from The Shark Tank. This one lady had decided that she wanted to market a series of stores where toddles and small children could shop for stuff like birthday gifts or Christmas presents. The stores would be equipped with small little shopping carts and low-to-the-ground shelving units. One of the sharks, knowing just what to ask, inquires if she's had any complaints about her business turning kids into consumers at a younger age then usual. She didn't have a good answer. She said she hadn't, but that question was bad for her, and there's no good answer to a bad question. I have to say that her heart was in the right place, but her business wasn't. Luckily for the kids and parents of the continent, the sharks denied the request.

Despite the fact that there are many concerned children's advertisers, things in this family are popping up everywhere. Kids do generally get need and want mixed up, and what they call there needs out number those of an adult, but these days it is even more so. There have been many commercial attempts to stop this kind of thing from happening, but the problem with this is that this idea of comsumerization of anyone old enough to explain their wants is baked into our society like some people's prejudice of African-Americans, women, or homosexuals. To fix it would take huge work on the part of many individuals. And I seriously doubt that that will be happening anytime soon, considering how unacknowledged this issue goes. So kids will be begging for that new video game that they saw on a commercial for years and years to come. Sadly even with the possibility of a generation. D'oh!

But this doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Sure, it's morally wrong, but other then that there are a few pros. Let's look at some of them for the store concept in the second paragraph. In that, that would actually teach these tikes about money management. This is a very important thing in this economy. While all these adults have "their" houses are forecloused because they're too far in debt to make payment, these kids are learning how not to get into trouble like that. This also is a good oppurtunity for new products on the market that hvaen't been seen before. And, just between you guys and me, this could also show the word this problem. My fingers are crossed.

So kids will take their pocket money, run down to the corner store, and buy whatever chocolate bar their favourite is. There is nothing wrong with that. It's just when it goes overboard that it becomes an annoyance. So be on the watch for this kind of thing this week, and I'm sure you will find them. That's my challenge for the week, and yours too.

Apple and Bananas

2010-01-30T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

A few days ago, the launch of the iPad from the Apple Corporation became the topic of blogs all across the globe. It was said by many people that consumers wouldn't buy into the product. Toady, the future of Apple rests on the shoulders of the companies creative drive, with it's many innovative ideas on the chopping block. Will the iPad flop? Well, no one knows yet, but what's most likely?

The iPad is actually fine. In my mind, at least. It's a really cool looking computer that you can take anywhere, but looks cooler and more sleek then most laptops. Not to mention the signs. But some people are accusing consumers for only taking interest in the tablet computer because it's from Apple, now the world leader in electronic manufacturing. I don't see what's so bad with this. We do it with music, we do it with books, and we do it with TV shows. Why not with other forms of entertainment? And we even use the system for hiring new employees. It's one of the few ways we find what's good. If the companies have a good track record, then that is a good sign about future offers. Don't knock it till you try it, reviewers. Now, if the computer actually doesn't work, then that's another story.

But that isn't the only compate that's risen over the iTablet on the internet lately. Most are saying that it just a glorified iPhone. Well, no one was complaining when I pointed out the closness of the iPhone and the iPod Touch, so why now? Oh, I already know. I'm not important enough to point something out and have people listen. But I do have to go with the crowds at first on this one. By that I mean that they are really similar at first! But after you've used it a while then I'm sure you'll see that there are a few differences. First, the newest addition to the iSomething linup is largely targeting the ebook industry, the iPhone and stuff like it are more largely targeting the games market. I think those are the only major differnces. Oh yes. The iPad is a computer, the iPhone is a smartphone, and the iPod Touch is an iPod. Now I have most things.

But this does raise questions about the state of Apples reign over the electronics market. How long is the company going to be able to stay on the top of the game? One of these days Steve Jobs is going to have his ability to come up with new products cut off. Then the American product is going to start buying MP3's, blackberries, and Dell laptops. And you know what happens from there. Apple goes bankrupt. Right now Apple is at the top of their game, but how long can it stay that way. Well, considering how often they're repeating products and calling it a different name, I'd say about half a decade, maybe a full one if we're unlucky. Mind you, this is only if Apple doesn't undergo some major management changes, or pull a Scrooge. I mean, someone must have realized that this whole modern thing will wear off soon, too. Didn't you, Mr. someone?

But the iPad is here to say. I think that the comercials do make them look pretty good, don't you? Seriously, a computer with a touch screen is pretty awesome, am I right. If it wasn't some much money and didn't have so many kinks, I'd get one myself. Darn that if. It seems to follow me everywhere now a days.

Snow Day Squabble

2010-01-29T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Today, blistery winds, chills deep in the negatives, and snow flying everywhere were the death of millions of Ontarians. They forced the kids of schools all across the province, mostly the northern part, into their homes. They, of course, would not include me. All the schools in my town were open, with no delays or cancellations. In these temperatures, many kids got frostbite. Everyone, even the staff, thought it should have been a snow day. Why wasn't it?

The process in which to make a snow day is very complex. First, it has to snow. You following me so far? Good. Then, someone has to see it. How many of you don't understand? Well, you're just a smart cookie, aren't you? Okay, I'll stop the joking. The person that has to see it has to be in contact with one of the weather people on the Board of Education. Using the data compiled by these people across the district, one of the head honchos at the office makes a decision on which schools to close, and which buses to delay/cancel. These notifications go down some sort of phone tree until it reaches the right person. Now are you still following me? Really? Guy in the green shirt and square-like glasses, you looked pretty baffled at "it has to snow".

Now, is it just me, or is this system insanely flawed. Do you remember playing the game Telephone when you were in grade school? The one where the kid on one end of a long line of kids with no big gaps between people thinks up a message for the guy or girl on the other end, whispers it to the person beside them, and the pattern repeats. This reminds me of that. And remember how that game ended? "The flying monkey kills" became "Buying fluffy trills". "Lots of snow in southwestern Ontario" becomes "No need to close schools in southwestern Ontario". This is probably what happened at four o'clock this morning, when the people were tired, half-asleep, and possibly drunk. So, is there any chance that there's any chance that anyone else realized that this system was horrible?

But there is almost nothing that we can do about it. I mean, there's no alternative. [Laughter] Got you! There obviously is. There always is. I'm sure there's an alternative. Hey, I just got one! How about this turns into a one person operation. Have the principal of the school make the decision, and then phone it in to the board so they can get the word out about the clousure. Less margin of error and and faster. It's a two in one. Now the question is if they would actually put something like this in place in our board. It makes sense, but would they have time to realize it? I doubt it. Only if tehy get enough complaints to actually be forced to pay attention. And that what won't be happening any time soon.

So I'll have to stand with being a penguin for a month an a half more. If I start to grow an egg pouch, sliding on my belly to get places, or wearing tuxedos a lot, call a doctor.

The War Resisters

2010-01-28T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The war in Iraq was left many people divided. Some believe that we should feel obliged to help, but others disagree, saying that this is needless killing of American soldiers. Well, there is a whole group of men from the country who agree with the later, but were fighting in the war. These soldiers walk among us in Canada this very moment. More on these fascinating people today on the Opinion Monster.

They're called war resisters. Here's the story of the average one: an average American is told by the military that they would be fighting in a war to take down an evil man with horrible weapons. So, they sign up and are flown over there. Once in the country's battlefield, they see no signs of weapons, and the leader would hardly be called evil. A mean little pussy cat, maybe, but not evil. So once they get a chance to come back up to this side of the Atlantic, they run up to Canada as fast as their well trained legs can carry them. Here they can't be forced to fight in a war the don't believe in. Here's the catch. Once the Americans realized how common this kind of thing was, they tried to shut the operation down by asking Canada to hand over the fugitives. Now the decision is in limbo in the Canadian courts. Today's question: what should and will their decision be?

First up to the bat is "should". This is what I think will happen in an ideal world. I think that the Canadians should deny the United State's request. Not doing so, I believe, would violate the constitutions of both countries, not to mention common sense. This is forcing views on another person, putting them in harms way when they don't want to, and taking a child's father away, in many cases. None of those is morally and ethically sound. Sure, it may give you a few more fighters for a war that I'm naturally opposed to (No, that's not one of my reasons. Thanks for being confident that I wouldn't let other views cloud my judgement!), but I'm sure you have enough willing fighter's back in your own country. Just let the people who don't want to and have every right not to have to be.

But, of course, we don't live in an ideal world. We never have, and we won't, as long as humans populate the globe. So, we have to think physiologically. What would Stephen Harper or the other bureaucrats do? We have to get in their head.

I've just returned from Stephen Harper's cranium. Let me just tell you that I'm never going back there out of my own free will. [Shivers] Anyway, I have a feeling that he won't let them do this. Being Prime Minister, he is definitely/ hopefully busy. He'll go to the most obvious choice, and I think that that would be denying the request. But he may not want to make trouble with the most powerful nation in the world, so I'd say the odds of not having American soldiers extradited out are about 55% for, 30% against. I know I left out 15%. It's for the issue being forgotten in the system of justice.

So the fate of all these normal Americans rests in the hands of a man they don't trust. Heck, they didn't even elect him. Man, this says a lot about the state of politics and their affairs today. Of course, so does almost every single thing I write on here. So, in conclusion, it's just a regular day in the blog neighbourhood.

Editorial Cartoon Collection

2010-01-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The title says it all.

If you didn't get the one with the guy in the stars and stripes top hat, take a look at some of the screenshots of the movie version of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

A Collection of Moral Dilemma

2010-01-26T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Today I list a situation, say what I'd do or who's right, and then ask you what you'd do. You (hopefully) will use the comments for that. Then maybe we will get into a stirring debate about which side was in the wrong. Man, I seriously need a social life. And Valentines Day is coming up soon, too. I need something that works fast. Hello, eHarmony!

Dilemma number one is this: A women is kicked off a city bus because of her crying kid. Who's the worse person here? The bus driver, for not putting up with her kid, or the women, for not being able to control her child? Well, here I have to take the side of the mother, because, according to eyewitness accounts, it was a loud bus, and the child was made a scapegoat. Also, if the driver can't drive a bus with noise on it, he shouldn't be driving it. I think that the bus driver had had a long day and snapped, and I'm sorry for that, but this was not fair. No one could control children. We tend to have a mind of our own. Seriously. Just look inside our heads once in a while. I doubt that this bus driver was a father, because, if we was, we would have had more sympathy for the women. Anyway, as you might have guessed, this was a real insident in BC, and everyone on the net has given their opinion. Thought I might as well give my two cents.

Dilemma number two: abortion. This is a major question right now. Obortion allows you to kill the fetus of a pregnant woman. A woman is pregnant with her boyfriend's child, but then they break up and the woman starts a relationship with another man. He says that he will keep dating her if she aborts her unborn child. What does she do; let the baby live and dump the guy, or dump the baby and let her romance live? Mind you, she thinks this guy may be "the one". I have to say that I think that she should dump the guy. I am traditionally for abortion, but in this situation I have to say no. The guy obviously is a jerk if he wants you to kill a baby that would otherwise live. Sure, it may not be his, but you can act like it is. Also, some would say that you could have a child with the man to make up for it, but who's to say that it won't be a reapeat of this situation? My point has been raised.

The third dilemma has to do with hockey and mercy. You're playing the first game of a tournament and if you don't win this game, your odds are about 50/50 of making it to the finals. Suddenly, part way through the game, with no goals yet, the opposing team's goalie comes down with the flu. They have no backup goalie, so they are forced to pull their goalie for the remainder of the match. Just as time is about to run out, you get a breakaway and make it to the other teams net. One of the players is waiting there for you, but they don't have any goalie gear on and probably won't save your shot. This team has made an amazing effort. Do you try to shoot, or give them a shot they can easily save? I'd have to say that this was a really hard one to decide on, but I would most likely give a half-hearted shot that I wasn't certain they could make. If it went in, I would feel horrible because I kicked a lion when it's down, and if I took a dive I'd feel horrible for letting my team down. This way, I would give them a chance but not insuring a victory. At least then I would feel not so bad. Still bad, but not gut wrenching bad.

So, now I want to hear from you. What would you do hear. Don't worry, the comment box doesn't give you a virus. Well, not a big one, anyway.

Barbie's Newest Dress

2010-01-25T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

We all want those little girls in India, Pakistan, and the like to be able to relate to the other girls they see. We want them to have dolls to play with that actually look like them. And now, they do. Introducing... Burqa Barbie! The world's first doll that wears a Middle Eastern headdress. It may seem good at first, but there has been controversy over this little doll and the racial garment. More on that in my first article about a doll. I was hoping I would never have to say that.

This doll is not being marketed in North America, but across the pond and closer to the girls they've been modeled after. But, really, I think that the crew behind the toy is just trying to appear diverse to the mass market, in the spirit of diversity. Since people some in all different shapes and sizes, our dolls should, too, right? They were really well intentioned, right. I don't see why they'd mean to offend anyone. They do, they lose profit. And no one likes losing profit. But obviously people think that they made a mistake, and now that view is spreading. But the Barbie Corp. executives don't see anything wrong with their newest product. So, who's right?

The big argument on the opposing side of this battle is that Islam women are fighting to lose the headdress, as it represents male dominance. This cloth says that women should not let the world see their face. I'm not sure if this is another thing it symbolizes, but it would make sense if it showed them as inhuman possessions of their husband. The Islam women are currently fighting for the freedom to remove the attire. The newest version of America's favourite doll wearing such a demeaning get-up seriously sets back the movement. Also, Ken will be getting some heck if Barbie starts wearing the outfit over here.

So, the question that must be burning in you minds right now is about to be answered. What do I think? What side am I taking in this dispute? Well, I have to take the side of the Barbie company. They may not have done enough research before making their product, and I hope that they will next time, for the record, but they are not at fault. The battle for choice on what to wear is not over yet, and all Islamic women still have to wear the vestment, so I think that it's fine. I will admit that the Middle Eastern women who were against the figure do have a point, but I think that Barbie Inc. overrules them. The truth is that many women across the world have to live this life each and everyday, and that's what this doll represents. I have to commend the creators of this doll. I don't think that this level of diversity has ever been shown in the mass market. Good job.

But the doll may never be released in Canada. So if you really want the doll, then head to Italy where it was recently on the auction block. Have fun! Remember to write.

What's Today?

2010-01-24T14:01:00.004-05:00

And here's my opinion:

It's a sad day when...

we laugh at suicide bomb.
our government thinks we're so stupid that we won't realize that he knows more about Afghan torture after he runs away from his opponents and the rest of parliament, using the economy as an dim-witted ploy.
a Canadian obtains a spot on the judging panel of an American created and run television series.
where celebrities are fighting to help skinny animals when they themselves are being neglected. Come on, people. Laugh! That was a joke! It may have been true, but a joke none the less.
the number of attack ads on TV outnumber Charmin commercials. That's saying something.
celebrities can go on TV and ask for money and not be thought of as greedy.
people can give those celebrities over 58 million USD and not be thought of as stupid, wasteful, or gullible.
Tyra ends he show just after Oprah. Do I detect a hint of stalker in that announcement? I do believe so.

You know the end of the world is near when:

Ellen becomes the reigning talk show queen.
it's announced that season 10 of American Idol will be Simon Cowell-less. Maybe the should call it American singer, because Simon Cowell was the only one who ever used the word Idol.
Avatar wins the Oscars. Now, I know this hasn't happened yet, but I don't care. If it does, it will single that there are five horses on the horizon.
the Liberals are right about something. Mr. Harper, you do know something about the torture of terrorists.
someone is actually listening to Jack Layton on Saturday at the Parliament Hill rally. Of course, it was only a couple people. The rest of the crowd had fallen asleep.
England has gotten even more worried about a possible terrorism attack. They've raised the warning from something bad to something even worse. Great! The terrorist want us to be scared and freak out. Our response to that is to get scared and freak out. Lovely!
We have another the Chris Brown/Rihanna insedint, only with people much less famous.

Heres hoping that the above 15 things are all flukes. [Put's fingers in ears and sings "Thinkle Twinkle"] I know the odds are slim, but I'd rather live in denial. La la la.

American Ellen

2010-01-23T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Two weeks ago, there were almost 20 million teens and adults who are anxiously awaiting the return of TV's favourite foursome, besides the Sex in the City girls. Of course I mean Simon Cowell, Kara Dioguardi or whatever her last name is, Randy Jackson, and Ellen Degeneres. They returned on January 12, to their usually huge backpacks. Some of them were just curious if Ellen could really pull of her judging duties. What do you think? The better question is what do I think.

I must say that she can pull it off. I mean, to judge you don't just have to know about music. You also have to know how to stay calm (unless you're Paula Abdul), be able to be nice about critiquing (unless you're Simon Cowell), and know about charisma (unless you're Kara Dioguardi). Ellen has definitely mastered the second one, and lives the second one every episode. The keep calm I'm not sure about, but I know she has a few options if not. She can either learn to keep her excitement under control, but that wouldn't be the Ellen we know and tune into. She could pull an Abdul, but then she still wouldn't be Ellen. What I think she should do is vent her energy in a more Ellen-like way; dancing! Now that would make Idol something to watch. Let's see if the other judges join in.

Some have badmouthed the choice to but her behind the table because she doesn't have a musical career or background. I must say that this is an invalid argument. I don't think that to be a judge you need a musical history. Have you ever noticed that you always have an opinion on those who audition for the show. Well, Ellen, being a regular human being, likely feels the same way. She knows what people need to be a star, and can tell them this. Almost anyone can tell you when music is good, and that's just what Ellen will be doing. Besides, I think that you're forgetting that Degeneres isn't completely daft when it comes to music. She has the highly acclaimed Singing In The Bathroom series from her television series. It's not as bad or gross as it sounds. Just trust me on that.

But I don't think that all of this is just because of Idol's newest judge. I think that there may be something a little different. I think it's because she's judge number four. Remember when the beginning of season eight was almost upon us. It had just been announced that a new judge would be added to a panel that had never been changed before. There was worldwide outrage. No one saw the need for a fourth judge. I think that spirit is still represented today, and was shown in, as I'll start calling it, Ellen-gate. Everyone, upon hearing that one of the judges was calling a quits, started picturing this season with only three judges. It's what everyone wanted and expected. So when Ellen was announced as the one breaking this illusion, we may have taken some of our anger about it out on her. This is not fair. But it happened. Now, I doubt that it's to blame for all of our annoyance, but definitly a bit of it.

I may not understand why everyone hates Ellen, but I do see why everyone likes the show. The runners up are awesome. They don't have the cliche of an Idol, but get an automatic boost to stardom. It's win-win.

We're Being Attacked... by Ads!

2010-01-22T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

If you haven't noticed yet, there have been a lot more attack ads since Harper ducked behind Michealle Jean and her proroguing powers. Micheal Iggnatief and his Liberals are saying that Harper doesn't want to face the MP's because he knows something more about torture in Afghanistan. What do you think? Yes. But does that really give the Grits a warrant to attack the Tories while they aren't at election. I don't think so.

What do attack ads really accomplish. I've decided to change my poll to "Do you think that attack ads have any affect on you?", but I don't think that the results will show much besides Canada's disrespect of mean commercials. I'm just talking about what I think at least most of the people believe. I don't see the need for attack ads if they aren't competing against each other. Well, not officially. But they still believe that it will help them in the polls. I think that it's the opposite. People who think that he's just doing this to make Harper look bad and him look good for uncovering the "conspiracy" won't like it. No one likes political games. And if those people have larger numbers then those who were impressed by the video, then the theoretical affect of the ad will be reversed. Sounds scientific, doesn't it? Trust me, it's not.

But can anyone really blame Mr. Iggnatief. 2009 really wasn't his year. He went from hero for being the replacement for the most hated man on Parliament Hill to actually being the most hated man on Parliament Hill. After trying to force us into a billion dollar election, his approval rating dived lower then Stephane Dion's a year ago. He needed to use any chance he could get to help out his failing popularity, and the fact that Harper made a big mistake was that chance. When our PM started running away, that was even worse for him, but better for Iggy. He just doesn't know how to make himself look better by making someone else look worse right. I will admit, it is an amazingly hard skill to master.

But will the attacks ever stop? For once, that's not a rhetorical question. Politics is a very competitive industry. Well, it's not really an industry, but whatever it is. The whole thing is made up of people defiling one another to gain more power. It stopped being about what was the best thing for the country and about making sure the other guy doesn't get to much of it. This is why attack ads are so abundant in the world of government. But is it really to much to ask for their twisted battles not to interfere with our precious television viewing schedule? These amazingly immature battles will never stop just as long as we live in a society where rulers can be overthrown so easily, but if they could just keep them out of our daily lives, that would be really great. But at that point, this blog would have to resort to entertainment news and humour. Let's just say their quest for power is a mixed blessing.

Oh, and I almost forgot to give you the link to the ad on Youtube. Praise social networking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QbXftg3Iu8. Cliched, no?

Quickpinion 2.0

2010-01-21T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Yes, I thought that the first Quickpinion went really well, so I've decided to do another. This could be a revolutionary new concept. This "little idea" could be used on blogs all over the world and beyond. I think that maybe I should trademark or copyright this, quick!

And, without further adue, here's my opinions:

There is a show that I totally cannot stand. It's called Toddlers and Tiara's. They show clips of it on one of my favourite entertainment shows, Entertainment Tonight. It showcases beauty pagents where the contestants are around the age of three! The kids are always crying on that show. I have a question for the police. Why is that show still on the air? Why haven't the producers of that show been thrown behind bars for child abuse? There was a little child of three on there who was choking on one of the spray-on tans her parents were giving her. Another child's parents said that they wanted their kid to be a celebrity in this buisiness to provide for them. And what's worse, it just dawned on one of the mothers that maybe their crying, hissy fit throwing kid doesn't want to do this. This is parenting at it's worst. I'm not even going to tell you the time slot and channel, because 1) I don't want you, or anyone, to watch it, and 2) I forget them.
The celebs are taking advantage of Haiti. Oh, come on, like you haven't noticed. Think. How many of your favourite entertainers have made a comment featuring the words heart or prayers and Haiti? 2. 3, maybe? No. They finally get showcased as humans for once, using the sympathy angle made popular by politicians to do so. Some of the heartbreak may be real, and some of them may not be trying to do this, but it's working for most people. If they are donating money, but not huge amounts of it, then they are likely mooching off public emotions. I will admit that this is a victimless crime, but that doesn't make it any less wrong.
This Leno-O'Brien war has gone on long enough. Oh, and too far. I, personally, cannot believe that I time slot means this much to comedians. I think that it doesn't. I think that, at some point in time, this stopped being about the best time slot for their show, and started being a battle over territory, like the one's you'd see among a pride of lions. I think that there's room for both shows in the network, and that Conan shouldn't have to leave. If it really does come down to it, I'm team Conan. I can't believe it's gotten to that, but it has. You know what I think would be fun to see, though. Having those two do one show together. Now that would be good comedy.

With all this stuff going on in the world, I don't have time to blog about it all. So, like on other blogs which require money to stay up and running, I'm asking for donations. Not of money, but of time. I have a post a day to and a social life to keep up with. Give all you can.

Five to Ten

2010-01-20T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

No, this post will not have anything to do with time. As promised, it's on a decision made by award shows. Sometime during the summer- no one quite remembers when- the Academy announced that the number of nominees in the esteemed Best Picture category would be doubled, from five pictures each year to ten. Was this truly a good idea. My vote is as follows:

No!

For one thing, the only reason that this choice was made was because of a little blockbuster called the Dark Knight. The voters failed to give it a Picture nod, irking thousands of Knight fans across the globe. They wanted to prevent a repeat of the insident, so they expanded the category. To me this makes no sense. There's always going to be a good film that just isn't good enough to make the cut. Are we going to add five more films every year? No, because that would result in a lot of horrible ilms being honoured. You cannot please everyone. People will just have to live with it.

Prior knowledge. This is key on realizing the true non-value of the virdict. Let us take a trip back in time almost 80 years, to the birth of the Oscars. Originally, the voters selected the number of films they saw fit, which would usually appear in the 6-11 range. This method was quickly abolished. Back then, companies were coming out with almost fifty films each, compared to our measely figure now, and they still abolished it. Why does the Oscar Comittee, or whatever it's formally called, think that it will work know, of all times? Sometimes I wonder if they serve a little too much vodka in those ceremonies.

So, what know? Most realizeed that the suits behind the awards made an error changing such a historic category, but do we really want to go back to the same old, same old. I think the Golden Globes have a point. By this, I'm talking about having two categories. One for Oscar-type films, and the other for the opposite. They don't have to have the same wording as the globes, but something that really draws a line between the two. This gives films like Avatar and Inglorious Basterds a chance, while still preserving the Oscar way of nominating hard dramas like Up in the Air and Precious. I think that is the ideal solution.

But this method, or any change in the amount of nominations, would require a high up person in the organization admiting they were at fault. Heaven forbid they be forced to repent like normal people. No, that's just crazy. Crazy words from a crazy mouth.

The Golden Globe Upset

2010-01-19T03:00:00.004-05:00

And here's my opinion:

You cannot guess what just happened. Well, I think you may able to, considering what appeared on the top of my page yesterday. I was nominated for the World Blog Awards Best Blog by a Minor award. This as you can imagine, is a great honour, and I am deeply greatful to be considered for this honour. Mainly because it means the word is getting out about this page. Anywho, I'm not sure when the winners will be announced, but I'll keep you posted. Don't worry. You know I'd let you know stuff like that.

Now, back to the issue at hand. I was watching the Golden Globes last night. No news there, especially for people who know me. If you watched the ceremony too, and you follow the awards season closely, then you'll share my sadness and anger. Seriously, it sounded like the voters had a little to much liquor before taking pen to ballet. Will the Oscars be the same? Can I figure that out? Am I asking to many questions? All this and more today.

If you've been feeling in the dark for the past paragraph, then here's the scoop. The Globe bestowed their mighty honour upon the people that know one expected to win. These included:

Up in the Air losing out to Avatar for Best Motion Picture- Drama
The Hangover beating out Nine and Julie and Julia for Best Motion Picture- Comedy or Musical
Jeff Bridges winning over George Clooney for the Best Actor in a Motion Picture- Drama
Sandra Bullock stealing Best Actress in a Motion Picture- Drama from Gabourey Sidibe
Robert Downey Jr.'s surprise win in Best Actor in a Motion Picture- Comedy or Musical, jumping Matt Damon
Christoph Waltz's amazing victory over the three people in front of him in odds in Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Some smaller ones include Best Foriegn Language Film, in which Broken Embraces should have one but The White Ribbon did. Toni Collette's win in the Best Actress in a Television Series- Comedy or Musical, while Tina Fey was in the category. Best Supporting Actress in a Television Series went to... that girl from Big Love... while Jane Lynch's role as Sue Sylvester was iconic and should have one. I think that was it.

Now the question that has been on my mind all day. Will these wins translate over to the Academy Awards? Well, I'm thinking no. But, like always, I may, just maybe, be wrong. My reasoning for my answer: these were a one or two time occurances, out of, like, a hundred awards per year. They're your common fluke. I doubt that more then one will be repeated. Besides, the Gobes have a very different mind then the Oscars. The double G's are more laid back in their style, and are more likely to pick the fan favourite then the snarky, political Oscars. This would explain Avatar and the Hangover's win, and Meryl's double nomination.

Tune into The Opinion Monster tomorrow for more on the Golden Globes. Yes, I do know that this kind of amount of posting is better suited for the Oscas, but I'm suffering from a little thing that I like to call Oscar-withdrawl. It comes on almost every film-lover near January, right before the nominations are announced, but a long time after the previous awards season. It's not fun, let me tell you that.

Goodbye, Mr. Mean

2010-01-18T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

With news that Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol after this season (you didn't know? Well, now you do.), fans of Fox's hit show are pouting. These include me. Cowell is more then a snarky judge now. Today we look back on several things that pertain to this news tidbit, including the affect that Cowell has had on TV. Yes, I think he is that big.

This decision leaves a very odd judge table. We have Kara Dioguardi, also known as the unwanted fourth judge; Ellen Degeneres, the one people didn't think was qualified to judge on Idol (That reminds me. I have to do a post on that); Randy Jackson, the only judge who came from the first season; and possibly a mystery judge, depending on whether the heads of Idol want to keep four judges. Is it just me, or does everyone want to find a way out of this show, even if it's ratings haven't been dipping? Do you think that someone on the show is being mean to the cast and crew? My answer for now would have to be possibly.

Now, Cowell, while confirming this bomb, said that this was to boost his other shows in Europe. These are the here little known X-Factor and the nutorious starmaker known as Britain's Got Talent. But is that his true reason for leaving such a big hit. I think his true motive is a bit more shallow. Not to be mean if this isn't the reason, but I think he's leaving because Ellen's coming. I know some are thinking that he would have left last year if that was the reason, but A) he may not have known then, B) his contract only ends this year, and C) that's what he wants you to think. We've heard about his gay jokes before and after sshe entered the show, and these lead me to believe that this is his ulterior cause of leaving. Oh, and Simon. If you're reading this, and this wasn't your heart's excuse, then I apologize. Even though I doubt that will help.

But Simon Cowell has already left his hand- or possibly paw- print on the entertainment industry. And boy, is it ever a big one. Do you how many times he's been parodied on various shows. I'd guess that it's more then Michael Jackson. And his parodies aren't just on scketch TV shows. He actually made it fashionable to be grumpy and mean in the media. He not only spoke his mind, he encouraged others to speak their's. He should get a medal or something. Idol will never be the same without him. I know I said that when Paula left the show, but after that shock wore of, I started saying it about Simon. Wait a second. Considering I didn't knock on wood, this is all my fault. Hey, is that an angry mob outside my window? No. NO. NO!

We may desperatly want Simon back, but, unless you have a television package that lets you see European channel, you're out of luck. Who are they going to get to replace him? Oh, my. The future is bleek, my friends. Very bleek. I have seen the future of American Idol, and it's name is Kanye West!

The Future of Terrorism (Part 2)

2010-01-17T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

After the newest style of bombing was made clear to the public on Dec.25, 2009, terrorism fears have reached the biggest high in I'd say a few years. I've already talked about whether this was justified or not (if your feel in the dark about that last comment, go to http://opinionmonster.blogspot.com/2010/01/three-more-hours.html) , but today I look at the future of terrorism. Have fun getting scared. Man, I should have done this one on Halloween.

A few days ago, I read and email, which I posted yesterday. It talks about... well, read it and find out. It said that the future of terrorism is changing. According to the man from the email, terrorists won't hijack planes anymore. They'll target big places like the Disney's, or possibly even the Olympics. Terrorists don't do the same thing twice, but we expect them to. Some guy puts a bomb in his shoe, and we all have to take off our shoes at the metal detectors. We need to learn from him. This guy has the brains of a terrorist. Lucky he's on our side, right. I, personally, believe him. I mean, this does make total sense. Maybe it's good that ticks for the Winter Games are selling so fast.

I also read an article in Maclean's about the intelligence of the al-Qaeda bombers. I have a link to that here: http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/01/07/what-didn%E2%80%99t-kill-us-could-make-us-stupider/. Read this before you go any farther.

This is totally untrue. Terrorist, I regret to say, have done their research. You are calling people who can sneak through what we all thought was a good security system, and keep the fact that Yemen had a major al-Qaeda base under wraps stupid? You need to do your homework, Andrew. There was a part of his plan that flopped, but if it hadn't, then there would be global unrest right now, and not just because of Haiti, and there would be several less Americans, plus a Nigerian. You cannot call someone who missed one number in a PhD level equation stupid. Ironically, I'd call you stupid for that.

Terrorism won't be stopping anytime soon. But, if this guy get's his voice heard, maybe the death toll from it will stay a little lower.

The Terrorism Question (Part 1)

2010-01-16T21:28:00.003-05:00

And here's my opinion:

The following is an email I recieved not to long ago. Sorry if it's in a different font, it's a product of a poorly designed cut and paste.

Juval Aviv was the Israeli Agent upon whom the movie "Munich" was based. He was Golda Meir's bodyguard -- she appointed him to track down and bring to justice the Palestinian terrorists who took the Israeli athletes hostage and killed them during the Munich Olympic Games.

In a lecture in New York City awhile ago, he shared information that EVERY American needs to know -- but that our government has not yet shared with us.

He predicted the London subway bombing on the Bill O'Reilly show on Fox News, stating publicly that it would happen within a week. At the time, O'Reilly laughed and mocked him, saying that in a week he wanted him back on the show. But unfortunately, within a week the terrorist attack had occurred.

Juval Aviv gave intelligence about 9/11 (via what he had gathered in Israel and the Middle East) to the Bush Administration a month before it occurred. His report specifically said they would use planes as bombs and target high profile buildings and monuments. Congress has
since hired him as a security consultant.

Now for his future predictions. He predicts the next terrorist attack on the U.S. will occur within the next few months. Forget hijacking airplanes, because he says terrorists will NEVER try to hijack a plane again as they know the people onboard will never go down quietly again.

Aviv believes our airport security is a joke -- that we have been reactionary rather than proactive in developing strategies that are truly effective. For example:

1) Our airport technology is outdated. We look for metal, and the new explosives are made of plastic.

2) He talked about how some idiot tried to light his shoe on fire. Because of that, now everyone has to take off their shoes. A group of idiots tried to bring aboard liquid explosives. Now we can't bring liquids on board. He says he's waiting for some suicidal maniac to pour liquid explosive on his underwear (see what happened on the Detroit flight?), at which point, security will have us all traveling naked. Every strategy we have is reactionary.

3) We only focus on security when people are heading to the gates. Aviv says that if a terrorist attack targets airports in the future, they will target busy times on the front end of the airport when/where people are checking in. It would be easy for someone to take two suitcases of explosives, walk up to a busy check-in line, ask a person next to them to watch their bags for a minute while they run to the restroom or get a drink, and then detonate the bags BEFORE security even gets involved.

In Israel, security checks bags BEFORE people can even ENTER the airport. (I've often wondered why we don't just adopt what the Israelis do to protect El Al and its passengers. When was the last time that they had a problem?).

Aviv says the next terrorist attack here in America is imminent and will involve suicide bombers and non-suicide bombers in places where large groups of people congregate i.e. Disneyland, Las Vegas casinos, big cities (New York, San Francisco, Chicago, etc...) and that it will also include shopping malls, subways in rush hour, train stations, etc., as well as rural America - this time Wyoming, Montana, etc..

The attack will be characterized by simultaneous detonations around the country (terrorists like big impact), involving at least 5-8 cities, including rural areas.

Aviv says terrorists won't need to use suicide bombers in many of the larger cities because at places like the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, they can simply valet park a car loaded with explosives and walk away.

Aviv says all of the above is well known in intelligence circles but that the U. S. Government does not want to alarm American citizens with the facts. The world is quickly going to become a different place and issues like global warming and political correctness will become totally irrelevant.

On an encouraging note, he says that Americans don't have to be concerned about being nuked. Aviv says the terrorists who want to destroy America will not use sophisticated weapons. They like to use suicide as a front-line approach. It's cheap, it's easy, it's effective, and they have an infinite abundance of young militants more than willing to meet their destiny.

He also says the next level of terrorists, over which America should be most concerned, will not be coming from abroad. But will be, instead, 'homegrown' -- having attended and been educated in our own schools and universities right here (remember the 5 young jihadists from Pennsylvania who were recently arrested in Pakistan?). He says to look for 'students' who frequently travel back and forth to the Middle East. These young terrorists will be most dangerous because they know our language and will fully understand the habits of Americans but that Americans won't know/understand a thing about them.

Aviv says that, as a people, Americans are unaware and uneducated about the terrorist threats we inevitably will face. America still has only a handful of Arabic and Farsi speaking people in our intelligence networks, and Aviv says it is critical that we change that fact SOON.

So, what can we do to protect ourselves? From an intelligence perspective, Aviv says the U.S. needs to stop relying on satellites and technology for intelligence. Instead, we need to follow Israel's, Ireland's and England's hands-on examples of human intelligence, both from an infiltration perspective as well as trusting 'aware' citizens to help. We need to engage and educate ourselves as citizens but the government continues to treat us, its citizens, 'like babies'. Our government thinks we 'can't handle the truth' and is concerned that we'll panic if we understand the realities of terrorism. Aviv says this is a deadly mistake.

Aviv recently created/executed a security test for our Congress, by placing an empty briefcase in five well-traveled spots in five major cities. The results? Not one person called 911 or sought a policeman to check it out. In fact, in Chicago, someone tried to steal the briefcase (no surprise there).

In comparison, Aviv says that citizens of Israel are so well trained that an unattended bag or package would be reported in seconds by citizen(s) who know to publicly shout, 'Unattended Bag!' The area would be quickly and calmly cleared by the citizens themselves. But unfortunately, America hasn't been yet hurt enough by terrorism for the government to fully understand the need to educate its citizens or for the government to understand that it's their citizens who are,
inevitably, the best first line of defence against terrorism.

Aviv also was concerned about the high number of children in America who were in preschool and kindergarten after 9/11, who were 'lost' without parents being able to pick them up, and about our schools that had no plan in place to best care for the students until parents could get there. (In New York City, this was days, in some cases!)

He stresses the importance of having a plan, that's agreed upon within your family, to respond to in the event of a terrorist emergency. He urges parents to contact their children's schools and demand that the schools, too, develop plans of actions, as they do in Israel.

Does your family know what to do if you can't contact one another by phone? Where would you gather in an emergency? He says we should all have a plan that is easy enough for even our youngest children to remember and follow.

Aviv says that the U.S. government has in force a plan that, in the event of another terrorist attack, will immediately cut-off EVERYONE's ability to use cell phones, blackberries, etc., as this is the preferred communication source used by terrorists and is often the way that their bombs are detonated.

How will you communicate with your loved ones in the event you cannot speak? You need to have a plan.

Going Solo

2010-01-15T18:34:00.003-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Today I listened to Nick Jonas' first solo music video. For those who know the Jonas Brothers, and aren't major followers, this is a huge surprise. And, guess what! It wasn't horrible! This makes me think, as many things do. Today I ponder an alternate future; what would life be like if Nick left the band? Somewhere, a Jonas lover screams. And, for once, not for the boys.

We've seen some old bands lose on of their members to a solo career. Let's see, there was Justin Timberlake and N' Sync, Beyonce and Destiny's Child, and Micheal Jackson and the Jackson 5. these people all made it as some of the most famous musicians in the world. Their bands were all the rage in their time, but the musicians don't fade. Well, maybe not the first one, but still. The Jonas Brothers are a fad, we know it. Well Nick be forever? I know that makes me sound like a closet fan, but I'm not. Not everyone likes Beyonce, or Elvis, or Michael Jackson, but they are forever. Back on topic. Jonas has the makings of the new Justin. Same age, same personality. It's all right there.

But, of course, he's said that he'd stick with his family for his career, and that this was just a side project. Can you believe him? I mean, family is, or at least seems, something that all the Jonas kids hold close and value. This band hasn't broken up, and it's been longer then some of the bands listed in the above paragraph. Maybe they have some sort of sacred brotherly bond kind of thing. Who knows? But this is Nick's decision to make. I doubt that, when it comes down to it, this well stay a side project. Sometime it'll grow to a second, equally important, thing, and then... well, you can see where this is going.

But I must say that, this may sound odd, but he actually isn't bad. The music video I saw was actually well thought out and mature, not like Joe dressing up as a mustached spy. It was called "Who I Am", so people were holding up signs like "Nervous" for a pregnant women and "Just Me" for Nick himself. I think that he may have what it takes to make it in this industry. He may start with the automatic Jonas fanbase, but he'll be the driving force that takes him to the top. If he loses some of the girl-oriented lyrics, then he'd be the first artist to appeal to both genders after being a part of a band. I, of course, would be the second.

But, of course, this is all up ot him. I think that, seeing his first video, he could be a universally liked artist. I would listen to him. Unless, of course, he's with his brothers. The screams are to much for me.

Stricking Oil Sands

2010-01-14T07:09:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Amidst the protests all over the world pertaining to climate change, the oil sands in Alberta still go untouched. If there's been any change in there size, then it would be that they're growing bigger. Many believe that we should shut them down. I disagree, even though I'm an environmentalist. Heck, I'd be up there with Greenpeace on the Parliament buildings if I could. So, I guess you're thinking, what the heck? Or maybe something a bit more profane.

These suckers are huge. They provide how much of the Canadian economy? There is no way that Harper can allow these to go. As he said about the auto companies, "they're too big to fail." Remember, people. We've just come out of a recession, we're still very venerable. Like Haiti. Like my self esteem. If we take a hit as big as this, we either go down and bring the world with us, or rely on the maple syrup industry to bail us out. No offense to Aunt Jeremiah, but I think I'd rather just avoid both all together. Oh, and not to mention the amount of pink slips that would be handed out.

When was the last time you used oil for something? Was it a month ago? A week or two? I know for me that sounds way to long. Mine was last night. Do you think that we can live without oil right now? No. Don't expect us to be closing them down right now if we can still make big bucks off them. If someone works out all the kinks of solar or electric cars, and no one needs or wants oil anymore, then we'll shut 'em down. You people, save David Suzuki, are the people keeping these things a float. You're the ones who can sink it. Stop buying, we stop making, and polar bears stop dying.

I think Canada and our precious oil sands are just the scapegoat here. I mean, it is called global warming, not Canada warming. This is a world issue, named because it's the world's issue. We made it, we clean it up. It's a lesson we've been taught since kindergarten. Canada contributed the seventh most towards this problem, behind China, the US, Russia, India, Japan, and Germany, in that order (see graph at bottom). No one is better then the other in this problem. Well, except for China and America. They must really hate the ozone layer. They need someone to blame for their troubles, and they chose us. We are fun to hate.

So, the tar sands aren't going anywhere. Except maybe to Copenhagen to get more debated over. Or wherever they go to get debated over. Doesn't matter, just as long as it's not Beijing or New York. They'd die from pollution.

Virtual Strip Search

2010-01-12T21:06:00.005-05:00

And here's my opinion:

After the Christmas Day bombing of 2009, all flights to the USA had extra security provisions. It seemed like it was rational and justified for a while. Then more options were raised. These included a body scanner that had had some mention before the failed attack. Some human rights activists called it "a complete violation of privacy and human rights" and "a virtual strip search". Some public safety agency replied that they were fine. So, who's right?

These scanners do show everything. Enclosed is an image of one of the results. This is mildly censored, and smalled then normal, but is still fairly revealing. I don't agree that it's equivelent to a strip search, but it get's very close. Too close, I think for some people. You don't get touched at all, but this may be too much, because it's possible that several people, and not just security, will see it. I think there's not enough akwardness to call it a virtual strip search, but it definitly is revealing enough to see why some say that if you're naturally uncomfortable with this sort of thing.

What exactly are our human rights? This is the question that people have been asking for centuries, and some have believed that they'd come up with the answer. Of course, among those people were the Mayans, who'd kill the loser in of their form of basketball. In other words, the Leafs would have been screwed. I do believe that we should have the choice to be able to display our bodies like this. But, of course we can't. This is too over the top and too private to have. This are images, remember, and, with the lack of security for the security, there will probobly be some leaked with =in weeks of the start of wide usage. It only makes sense.

But not having these is at the price of our safety. These could stop attempted terrorists like the long named guy from Christmas (sorry, readers, I'm tired and I just want this to be done, so I'm not even going to try for his name). Is our safety at danger enough for us to be stripped naked everytime we fly? I don't think so. I believe that people that are 13 and below shouldn't be screened this way, and that it should only be for certain races. I know that some people might think taht that qualifies as racism, but we've got to learn: when was the last time I guy with last names like Smith or MacDonald tried to blow up a plane? See!

But this is not for us to decide. This is for the buerocrats up in the nation's capital to decide. Man, sometimes democracy comes and bites you in the butt, doesn't it.

By the Numbers

2010-01-11T18:47:00.003-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I recently saw a commercial for a charity organization that compared the cost of ending world hunger to fighting in Iraq. Iraq: something along the lines of $60B. Hunger: $30B. Yes, if we stopped fighting in Iraq and put that money towards ending world hunger and poverty, that problem would be nonexistent by 2014. On this note, I announce what I'll be doing today: comparing prices of world issues.

With the money used to end world hunger, we could:

bail AIG out... again

bail out Nortel... again

buy 20 000 of the worlds most expensive car

If one dollar equaled 1 ______, then we'd have_____

second, and we went back that many second, the vikings would have just discovered Canada

Every __ seconds, someone

every 3 seconds, someone is diagnosed with cancer

every 9 seconds, someone dies of cancer

every 2 seconds, someone is diagnosed with diabites

every 1 second, 200 000 spam emails are sent

every 3 seconds, the US national debt increases by $200 000

every 1 second, 2 people are born

every 2 seconds, 3 people die

McDonalds:

has 30 000 local resturants

serves 50 million people daily. That's 0.7% of the worlds population.

Sorry, but that's all I could come up with in one day's free time. Sorry if I sounded to much like a spam email, but that's just me.

America's Got Howie

2010-01-11T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I read the announcement yesterday on my favourite entertainment news website, EW.com. Howie Mandel is taking over David Hasselhoff's judging post on the hit show America's Got Talent. There are so many things wrong with that sentence, and not grammatically this time. Let's look at why this decision irks me so.

Howie is ours! Get that, America? Don't let this decision make you think that we're losing our favourite natives to you... you Obama-loving, universal healthcare-resisting eagle-worshipers. This decisions starts to divide the harsh barrier that's divided Canadian and American TV for years. It's called America's Got Talent, not North America's Got Talent. We just sold Canadian independence out for fame. For shame, Mandel's managers. Is money really that important for a guy with his own hidden camera prank show (Howie Do It)? Oh, who am I kidding? He also hosts a game show that has models carrying briefcases.

Speaking of which, what is going to happen to his other shows? Are they going to continue fading into oblivion, or are they going to use Mandel's newest requirement as the stated reason to cancel Do It? Deal or No Deal won't be going anywhere, it's ratings are too strong and they have been for years and years. But will he be able to head two shows and and have a major role in one? Even Howie is human... we think. And, as such, he is intitled to limit himself, no matter how heart-breakingly devastating it may be for his fans. Only he knows his limits, and this may just be pushing them too far for himself. If that happens, then he may just have to stop for a while. No one wants him to stop, let alone slow down. This may just cause it.

And David Hasselhoff. This man is a bona fide legend. Why did he have to leave. This was the only place we'd be able to see him, save reruns of his earlier shows like Baywatch. But who wants to watch those? He admits that he's dropping out to work on plans for a new show, promising to reveal more dewtails on that in the future. I'm not so sure I want to see that. A show that revovles completely around David may get a little tedious fast, wouldn't you say? Unless the plot somehow becomes hip, and isn't a talk show, then I may tune in. If it flops, then he'll likely blend into the background. As we've seen, that isn't hard.

So will the rest of the viewers be satisfied with the change? An always comedic Canadian on a singer's reality show. Will you? I know when I ask, you never comment, but come on. Not just for me, but for Howie.

Through the TV Glass

2010-01-10T08:18:00.002-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Is it just me, or is there some sort of looking glass stuck between Canadian and American airways? It feels like you can see any good Canadian show down below the border, only it's an American version. Is this truly a sincere form of flattery, or robbery. I'm thinking a little bit of both.

Once upon a time there was a little show named Dragon's Den. He had a sister named Battle of the Blades. There father, CBC, was a world traveller, and he took them to places like the USA and Russia. But the horrid part was that, while they were there, people realized there awesomeness and made copies of them, and changed the copies a little. These new copies stole all the originals' glory, and therefore cash. But what can they do? They haven't broken laws or anything like that.

They say that imitation is a sincerest form of flattery, but this involves money. This invovles more then self esteem. This is more then popularity. This is money. This is what the Dragons (and now the Sharks) fight over half the time. The creators of the international spinoffs are cleverly avoiding copyright and trademark laws by changing it a little. Canada has a very limited airway range, and can only get money from the Canadians that watch. When bigger countries get a hold of our ideas, they profit from the entire world, including Canada. They don't just steal concepts, but buzz, too.

But what can we do about this travasty? As regular, non-political people, not much, like in almost every issue. The one thing that I can think of is boycotting the knock off shows. It won't be a huge hassle. They're only on American channels like ABC, so keep a look out for shows that sound like ours on those channels. That, and the fact that if you look a few channels below them, you can see the originals. And we all know that the original is better then the adaption. Don't believe me? Go read the Harry Potter series and then watch the movies and tell me that I'm wrong.

Now, here's your decision to think about for the rest of the week. What is better: Shark Tank or Dragon Den? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to free up the rest of your month.

A Single Flame

2010-01-09T12:44:00.003-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As the sun rises and sets once again, the world's most famous fire is making it's way through the lands of Manitoba. It's winding it's way through the heart of our nation to bring it out. What is it about this potentially fatal element that drives people so positively bonkers? Is it the flame itself or what it represents that connects us and brings us to it like moths to a flame? Okay, that last one is sort of obvious. Don't judge me.

As I write this, the flame is passing through Yorkton, Manitoba. I don't need to see CTV's live cam on the back of the van in front of the torch to know there are massive crowds surrounding it. People stand out in the Canadian winter, not only risking frostbite, but getting it, just to see this flame. So many tune into the "torch chronicles", as I call them. Almost 90% of all Canadians will see the torch. That's a pretty big number. Why do we strive to such immense lengths to see such an everyday thing? Like I said in my intro, I think it may have something to do with what the flame represents. Gosh, pay attention.

What exactly does the Olympic flame actually represent? I doubt it means to stand for what it does, but it can't help that. I think it stands for unity. It only travels on true patriot land. This time it's an all Canadian torch relay. The torch was designed by Canadians, the torch bearers are Canadians, and, as I said, the route is Canadian. All Canadians, or at least almost all Canadians, can be and are proud of that. We love to see that something that is, for once, all ours. After the US steals all our glory, it's a nice breath of fresh air. We finally get a big Canadian thing, and we love it. This should happen more often.

But I think that this doesn't suffice it, though. We could just sit at home on the net like now, trying to find a webcast of the flame. We could just watch the news, hoping for the highlights. That would be the easiest thing to do, but not the most Canadian. We want to be a live part of all the stuff listed above, a part of the history, and we're willing to give up most degrees of comfort to do so. This is the drive to get us out the door, into the car, and to the nearest flame spot to see Canada summed up in an eternal flame.

But what happens when the Olympics is just a fading memory, and Canada has nothing to take pride in? What do we turn to? Answer: Seth Rogen.

Oscar Odds

2010-01-08T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

In a kind of sequel to yesterday's (January 7, 2010's) post, I actually give the odds for each of the nominees to win. I know there isn't a percent sign after the numbers, but I wasn't able to add it in with the graph software I used. Use it at http://wces.ed.gov/wceskids/createAgraph.

Oscar Predictions 2.0

2010-01-07T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I'm not sure you still remember from so long ago, but in November (I think it was November. Not sure) I posted my Oscar nomination picks. And, as I'm certain you can guess, thinks have changed in that time. So, without further a due, my revised predictions for the 2009/2010 Oscar race.

Best Picture

Up in the Air-- total lock, my bet to win.
The Hurt Locker-- pretty good lock in my mind, but not in others'.
Precious-- almost definite, just a notch below Up in the Air on the certainty scale, possible winner.
Avatar-- this is the years box-office hit has to get in with 10 noms, some think it will win, some think it won't get nominated.
Inglorious Bastards-- lock for a nom, lock to not win. The most sure thing about this years race beyond Meryl Streep and Mo'nique.
Invictus-- no one knows about this one. It's the Oscars' kind of film, but I hear it sucks.
Up-- a film with tons of heart, but animated. Animated is a big turn off for the Academy. It reminds me of Inglorious.
A Serious Man-- I don't know about this one; could go either way.
An Education-- not a fan favourite, but the kind of thing they'd go for. Who knows?
The Lovely Bones-- they have space to fill. This works.

There are some notable differences from last time in this category. Only four films from the first round made it into here. The Lovely Bones, Up, Precious, and The Hurt Locker all came back from my earlier post. There's six who almost definitely won't win, and the rest have the odds split pretty well. I'll give you the odds next time.

Best Actor

Colin Firth in A Single Man-- the perfect Oscar style preformance, but not anything else. Can it make it?
Morgan Freeman in Invictus-- he'll likely get a nod for this preformance, but if not, Invictus loving voters have a backup plan named the Supporting Actor Oscar for Matt Damon. Speaking of which...
Matt Damon in The Informant-- the space filler of this race, they may substitiute Jeremy Renner from the Hurt Locker, Viggo Mortensen in The Road, or Tobey Maguire from Brothers.
George Clooney in Up in the Air-- looks like the best bet to win, although Freeman could sneak up on him.
Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart-- he's just truly entered the race, and he won't win, but other then that he's good.

It's always between the season vetrens in the area. Morgan and George lead the pack, but other then them no one will win. Sorry, guys. Try again next year.

Best Actress

Meryl Streep in Julie and Julia-- the best preformance I've seen her in yet. Possibly the best of the year. This has good odds to win, if the polled don't split the vote between this and her job in It's Complicated.
Gabourey Sidibe in Precious-- the main challenger to Meryl's throne. What's more likely is that Precious voters go to her co-star, Mo'nique.
Carey Mulligan in An Education-- this has a possible win, but not likely. A nod is really likely.
Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side-- a first timer, but a likely nomination. Same odds as Carey.
Emily Blunt in Young Victoria-- she has other award noms to help her, but her odds still aren't so good.

Streep and Sidibe seem like they both have about half the vote, and Mulligan and Bullock are pretty good locks for a nom. It's that last spot where Oscar fanatics have to watch.

Best Supporting Actor

Matt Damon in Invictus
Woody Harrelson in The Messenger
Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds
Stanley Tucci in either Julie and Julia or The Lovely Bones
Alfred Molina in An Education

Best Supporting Actress

Mo'nique in Precious
Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air
Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air
Penelope Cruz in Nine
Julianne Moore in A Single Man

And that wraps it up. Who thinks I'm right? I know I am. Who don't believe me? Well, I'll just have to show you in March.

Cheetah Woods

2010-01-06T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Tiger's story was now almost gone from the headlines. Keyword there: was. Recently, he posed with a menacing scowl on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine, stirring up all of our old memories of his infidelity. Today I talk all Tiger for the whole post. Where he went wrong, stuff like that. Well, that's actually most of it. But I'm sure I can fit in some other stuff.

Mistake numero uno: actually having a mistress is bad enough, but having 11 confirmed, 14 rumoured, and countless others still private is just horrible. Seriously, Tiger, I'm sure that even you can keep your testosterone under better control. And if you can't then you desirve all the attention you're getting. Many people cheat, but with over ten women. I have a feeling that you'll soon be in the record books for more then just your collection of PGA Tournement wins.

Oopsy number two: taking a leave from golf. What was with that? If he thinks that this helps anything, then he is sadly mistaken. He went into hiding, losing tons of csh, just because he thinks it would take him out of the spotlight. It didn't. I don't see how it would. I think that this was even worse, because he loses millions and millions in scolarship and prize money, and also makes us think that he's a scaredy cat. Wow, I think we finally found Harper a friend. And this is linked to our...

Third wrong turn: thinking that he can save a marriage that is already gone. If you've had 11 other relaationships that violate the holy bond of eternal metremony, then you're odds aren't looking up for you. Personally, I'd compare this to skipping out on reseaving a million dollars to help a long dead pet to live again with no knowledge on how to. But that's just me. I'm sure Tiger feels differently. He did all that for his wife. I think that shows he loves her. Of course, would he do that for the other women in his life? You know who I'm talking about [wink].

The most recent dumb move: this Vanity Fair cover. No offence to the people behind it, but it doesn't look like the Rocky it seems to be trying to be. In this one, he looks more like a horror movie villain then a world-class golfer. But the stupid part of this decision was that it puts him back in the spotlight. Sure, we was before, but this reminded us even more of his family issues, which I didn't think was possible. The rumours about him and his first confirmed mistress, Rachel Uchitel (did I spell that right), have been flying since Christmas, but nothing has been officially confirmed. This just makes us think that Tiger is even more worried about his image. Self-consiousness really doesn't look good on him.

Can Tigeer fix the mess he's made? No. Can he get back on top, even with his permenantly besmirched reputation? Should I stop talking like this before it gets annoying? Yes. Wait, too late.

A Downhill Ride

2010-01-05T10:03:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I've been listening to music and watching TV lately. Big news there! But the weirder thing is that Hannah Montana has been appearing on it. Okay, I know that none of this is news to you, but just wait, there's a point to this. The song I saw her singing was called "Ice Cream Freeze". Seriously, it's a song about ice-cream. I think she's running out of music. Today, I look at the possibility of very early retirement from the music industry.

Hannah/Miley can't live forever. And by live, of course I mean stay at the top of the charts. This can only last as long as her creativity. As we saw with the song about dairy, this won't last long. You cannot stay afloat unless you have a decent fan base as a life raft. Once her followers realize that she's losing what ever musical touch she had before, then both of her personalities will sink like stones. But when will this happen. My guess is that it will take a few more songs with random themes for them to have it click, but I guess only time can tell. Wait a second! Time can't talk. Darn it.

But, even if she doesn't, then we have a backup plan to get her out of the spotlight. I mean, if she doesn't slowly fade out, that is. Other artists. Think about it. Only two or three artists can have our full attention at once. Right now we're at three, with Cyrus starting her fade to oblivion, the Jonas Brothers at the top, and Justin Bieber almost there. Once someone new comes along, and they will, Miley will be booted out like the Salahi's (Don't know what I'm talking about? Google it, and I'm sure you'll find it) should have been, and the Jonas kids will be quaking in their boots. Man, is this buisiness thickle or what?

But there are a few things that Miley can do to stay on the music radar. For once, she can enter into another controversy. This will keep her fan base up for a limited time, but it will keep it up almost guarenteed. The saying "Any press is good press" is very true. If she's painted as a victim, even better. Also, change. Change her appearence; change her appeal; change her anything. We, and by we I mean the public, will be naturally curios to see who the new her is, and, whether we like the new her or not, she'll gain popularity. But she doesn't read this blog, so I think the odds of recovery are slim.

Ironically, we can't watch her downward spiral into the where are they now shows, or it will make her popular. And I was looking forward to that part!

The Pussycat on Parliament Hill

2010-01-04T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Why did I not see the warning signs? Why did I not expect this? Why did this come as a surprise? It makes perfect sense. It's so fitting of him. No, I'm not talking about the Tiger/ Elin divorce, or him spending the holidays with mistress number umpteen. I'm talking about the possibility of a parliament prorogue until March.

Yes, Stephen Harper is at it again. Remember last year this time. Not a politician was stirring, not even the Governor General. Stephen is once again running away from his problems with the other parties and their leaders. I have a feeling that, if he does get what seems to be his wish, then the official reason will be so that he and the rest of of the MPs can watch the Games in peace. Now, he hasn't actually tried yet, and Michaelle Jean hasn't said anything about the notion. So we don't know if it's a likely thing, but if we learned anything from last year, it's that anything could happen out in Ottawa.

Harper is such a scaredy cat. He thinks that he can just run away from his problems anytime he "needs" to. Well, Canada will not stand for it. We can't have a ruler who, at the first time of any trouble or threat to his power, runs away to 24 Sussex Drive for three months, hiding behind a foolish monarch. This won't get anything done for a country that could be great. There aren't many things you can get done with no time. All the ideas on how to change this take a long time.

I'm trying to guess the odds of this not happening. Harper is easily going to go with it if he wants to, because he'll get heck either way. I bet he thinks that might as well get it for something he can more easily get over. The only question is if he thinks it's a good idea. If he wasn't him, we could already rule it out. Then there's the Jean factor. Will she fall for Harper's silly ploy a second time. I'm thinking 50-50 odds on that one. I hope we don't find out which.

But we don't have a steak in this. We just have to watch the news hopelessly, begging the political gods to be merciful. Wait, they're political, they don't even know the meaning the word, let alone the concept.

Update: Later that day, Harper did ask Jean fro a puroguement, and she accepted fairly quickly. Why, political gods, why?

Quickpinion

2010-01-03T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Today is a good, good day. A new concept is once again being introduced to this fine blog. A Quickpinion. Yes, I said a Quickpinion. A quick opinion. See how that works. I will touch on a number of issues in one large post, instead of several normal ones. You'll understand once it starts.

Now here are my real opinions:

Adding cancer stopping products to fast food is a good idea, but not for right now. As we know, anything like this has it's kinks, so I think we should try a bit more to make it safe. Other then that, it's actually a really good idea, considering how much junk we shove into our mouths, and the fact that people who eat it more then normal are at a higher risk for an illnesses, so that would be the first step in starting that. Of course, it would take years and years to add it into every restaurant's menu, and money, so it won't be happening for years.
Micheal Iggnatieff is not fit to be the Liberal leader. This man tried to force us into a billion dollar election smack dab in the middle of the largest financial meltdown since the Great Depression, deepened our Canadian net worth into the red while blaming it on the Conservatives, and lost the confidence of the average voter so much that, if an election had been held two or three months ago, then Harper would have been leading a majority, which hasn't happened since Jean Chretien. If he can't stop acting like such a child trying to do a man's job, then he shouldn't be trying.
H1N1 is over. There is no so called "third wave". It is gone. Poof... like magic. It was not over-hyped, but it wasn't under-hyped. It was right in the middle. I do admit it was a little bit of a bummer, but I'm not complaining. People got the shot, so the spread stopped. If the shot lasts, and I think that it will, then it's almost impossible to get a big third wave.

There you go. Do you understand this yet? Well, if you don't, then too bad. I guess you'll just have to live with being confused every time I do a Quickpinion. I'm sorry, but I can't do anything to help.

Three More Hours

2010-01-02T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Those three hours are the ones that cross country air travellers have to spend in a line in addition to the usual one or two. Who can we attribute to all this waisted time? Well, we'll play the blame game later. Now let's talk about is all this extra idle minutes. Are they truly worth it in the name of safety? Well, we get my opinion, at least.

Okay. Now we can finally play the blame game. [Cheers from all around] Well, there are many people entwined in this mess. There is, of course, the actual bomber, who's name I doubt many people know. Then there is also the Taliban, who just recently claimed responsibility for the near miss bombing. Also are the authorities in air safety of both countries, the Netherlands and the USA; neither had the man on a no fly list. Or is it the system who's at fault here? Personally, I think it's the system, but not to the extent some believe. I think that if you have any tie at all to the Al Queda terrorists, or any other, then you should automatically be kicked of planes to the US, Canada, or any other country they may be targeting. I think that's the most rational solution.

But no. No, that would be too light for the situation. No, to show those Muslim extremists that we aren't scared we beef up security. Oh, yes, so intelligent. I don't see the good that this does. This is just making the airport an even more time consuming activity. Sure, these measures deter suicide bombers for now, but in a month or two they'll have all new ideas on how to get past the guard. Terrorists will never stop, unless the US falls from power. Hey, I know what I'm posting tomorrow.

But some of these measures are a bit too evasive. Some of them are even "unconstitutional". I do admit that some of them, like the body scan, are a titch too violating for kids, but not for adults. I think that it's worth it for now, but in a month it will not be. And even know, if they are used at all, they should only be used for higher risk people, like those on the list the attempted bomber was on.

No one knows how long these plans will be in place. But I truly hope that it won't be long. With the delayed flights of winter, and now this, I doubt many plans for the Winter games will be happening. Imagine if none of the other teams showed up! I doubt then we could say that we'd never won a gold on home ice then.

2010's Debut

2010-01-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Today we make a change. A change for the better, hopefully. Unless you've just woken up and are still half asleep, you know that today is the first day of 2010. Yes, a year has come to a close ones again, and with it comes a new year-- a new experience. I'll be contemplating the year that was and the year that now is. Try not to get bored to death. Just bored to tears.

2009 was a very... interesting year. We had tons of couple trouble in Hollywood, climate trouble in Canada, and political trouble in Ottawa. This was one of the most troubled years in my life so far. Of course, that really doesn't mean much, considering that "my time" was only been a little less then 11 years. Oh, whatever. Who cares?

I can't say that 2009 was one of my better personal years. I'm not going to go into specifics because it would mean diving into my mind. I prefer my mind to be closed to the public, thank you very much. I don't think that I can truly say that I will miss 2009. I really don't miss any year, because, I know this sounds amazingly cheesy, the next year could be anything. It could be the best darn year in the entire world. No one knows, so I prefer to believe it will be better.

2010 is not only a new year, but a new decade too. This means that this is the start of a new period of time. I think of this because we had the 50's, 60's, 70's, etc. etc., and now the 00's. Like all before us, this era must have a destinct personality. There's hippie (70's), rocker (80's), so that can we say about the 00's? This is the one thing that I want you to comment on. Like, I mean that I want you to comment on that, but it would be nice if you commented on other things.

So what will the 10's bring? Well, the major thing that I'd guess would be technology. I've heard talk about some really awesome things for 2010. These include 3D television and a second version of the Wii. This is amazing. After this decade, we, the people, changed email from an emerging idea to more widely used is snail-mail. No doubt this year will be one to remember for nerds across the globe.

And if you don't like all of this, then too bad. It's what is going to happen or already has. No changing the future of the world. We'll just have to live with it. Not a horrible task for me, at least.

The New (Year) You

2009-12-31T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

This is the last day of 2009. No offence to it, but thank nonexistent God. I don't think I could have lived through another of this years many frivolous scandals. And as the year winds down, people all over our planet are making their yearly New Years Resolutions. The question I attempt to answer (unsuccessfully, as usual) is why. So... why?

The new year symbolizes a rebirth. New opportunities and the like. And in this small time period we make one decision, a promise to ourselves, that we will be better. We want to be the best we can be, and during a worldwide rebirth is easily the best time to do so. We feel that if everyone in the world did the same, the world would be a better place for all. This is probably true, but I doubt we'll ever know.

See, I've been looking up stats on the Internet again. It's a good pastime. I found out that over half of people made resolutions they were confident about, yet only 12% actually reached it. Yes, only about one fifth of the confident people made it. I know I'm about to sound like a complete pessimist, but why even bother trying. It's proven to likely be a waste of time.

But for those who are still insistent on making yourself better around this time of year, here are a few tips. Make sure you're specific and set out a plan. If you desire to lose weight, don't just leave it at that. Institute a deadline, and calculate how much you plan to lose per week or month. Also, make it attainable. Don't try any get rich quick schemes, or any famous in a minute plans. Space it out if you're expectations are high, so you won't be completely let down, and you'll have better odds of success. An make sure, above all, that you don't let yourself forget it. Have friends help you out, or make a deal with them to help each other out.

But don't come crawling back to me if your plans don't work out. Oh, I know it's a little early for it, but I don't want to forget to do this: I told you so.

A Gift From the Convicted

2009-12-30T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I was listening to the radio this morning (yes, they haven't completely gone out of style), when I flipped on to a discussion show called MacArthur in the Morning, which was debating the subject of organ donation with capital punishment. Then he asked for our opinion via phone. Well, it was an encore presentation. I think you're smart enough to see what I'm about to do.

Now, he had said that in the midst of our organ donation crisis, China has found an easy way to deal with theirs. Of course, it deifies what Canada used to stand for. Their plan is to have the prisoners on death row donate their organs to those with desperate need of them. Yes, this works without a hitch for them, but we have still outlawed capital punishment. It would take a big move in parliment to get the motion passed, and Canadians are still divided on the subject.

Personally, my stance on capital punishment is that it should be used, but rarely. I think that jail for life with no chance of parole is almost as bad, and should be used more often for sexual offenders. I fit the punishment to the crime for repeat (for me, that's three or more sentences) offenders, so I think that a death penalty should be used for people who've murdered three or more times, two if they were mass killings. If I could, I'd also use odd punishments like castration for sex offenders, but today's Canada is no where near ready for that.

But this question isn't on the death penalty. It's if we should bring back the death penalty for the purpose of saving innocent lives not directly linked to the prisoner. I think that it would be an incrediblly short sighted decision if it would be solely for that purpose. We need to wiegh the pros and cons more if we're going to make a choice that will affect so many lives.

Sadly, this style of punishment is years off at best. If any progress was made this second, we wouldn't see the affect until at least 2012. Sort of fitting, seeing as what we're prevent by this would be people waiting till that time for donations.

Entertainers, Not Babysitters

2009-12-29T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I am a celeb-news follower. Like a group on Facebook said: Entertainment Weekly is my bible and the Oscars are my holy day. So, naturally, I check Weelky's sight every day if I can. So, as I was checking the other day, I clicked on this article: http://watching-tv.ew.com/2009/12/27/celebrities-are-not-role-models/. Now, it was just screaming "reply to me!"

I agree. Celebrities shouldn't have to be role models. Really, no one should. But then our kids would grow up onto the streets, and they would never learn right from wrong. This is our worls and the kids of it are our responsibility. Besides, who among you wants to live in a world with kids like that? Wait, better question. Would there even be a civilized worldwith kids like that? Get's you thinking there, doesn't it.

Also, celebrities aren't the only role models in the childs life. They also get the influence of their parents and relatives. But celebrities get seen just as often, so they play just as big a role. Yes, if kids wouldn't be likely to see you doing something that would cause outrage, then you're fine to do what you please. But if not, then morally bond by the same restrictions parents are. Ha Ha!

Also, in this article, the point of sexism on the issue is raised for a paragraph. Personally I think that that proposition is totally invalid. Yes, women are not subject to this kind of thing, and it is sexist, but it's not it's own example of sexism. Girls don't go through this kind of thing because we expect them to be naughty. We expect them to be sex symbols. No girl likes it, but it's a part of Hollywood. Also, I'm sure some girls have gone through being told they have to be a better role model. Look at Miley's nude pictures, or Britney's racy lyrics, and tell me women don't have it as bad. The only thing Ken Tucker had there was the fact that it happens less often. And barely, at that.

But he did have a very good point on how to eliminate it. Stop buying tabloid magazines. It's what I've been asking you to do for the entire existence of this blog. So just do it already!

Chimpunk Fever

2009-12-28T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

On Christmas Day, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakual debuted at number three on the box office charts. No suprises. Avatar is from well known director James Cameron, and Sherlock Holmes has a cast of A listers. Alvin has the chipmunks. People went crazy for it the first time, but not as much this time. What gives?

The only reason that it worked the first time was that the chipmunks were cute. The humour was horrible and cheap. The plot was overworked and cheap. The characters were two dimentional and... well... cheap. The high voices and the music were so cute that the film soared with family audiences. It was one of the most popular cartoon to live action remakes of the decade.

Now comes the squeakual. It's the essentially the same thing, only a different plot. The chipmunks are irresponsible, they still are singing every two seconds, they still make a mess at home, they ingage in random antics, and Dave is still yelling "Alvin!" in the promo. Same thing. The only two new things about it are the fact that they're using music from this century, and the "Chippettes". Did I speel that right? Who cares.

This will never work. People have seen it before, own it on DVD, or don't care. There's really no need for anyone to see it. Unless they can proove that they've actually improoved it's quality in acting, writing, or really anything. Maybe one day the people behind this film will realize that, once we've seen it one, and buy it on DVD (some films only, and that goees for both), we don't need to see it again. IF they world were like that, there may be less films, but of better quality.

Well, I guess we'll see in audiences feel the same way again next week. I hope so. The faster I get "Ring On It" sung by the Chippettes, the better.

IIHF Expectations

2009-12-27T03:00:00.001-05:00

And here's my opinion:

Yesterday was Boxing Day. Yes, I know I'm stating the obvious, just listen. The IIHF championships started on Boxing Day. Yes, this is the tournament where guys under 20 get together, get really patriotic, and therefore competitive, and everyone expects Canada to get gold. What I just said us the focus of this post.

See, do you think that we may be putting just a little to much pressure on these kids? Wait, you can't write sarcasm. That was. We're calling Sidney Crosby "The Next One" after Gretzky. I know he's not on the team, but he was at one point. It seems to me, at least, like we're thinking that, if they don't get the sixth straight gold for Canada, they're failures. These people are people like you and me. They have there own limits and if these don't include first place, or even a podium finish, then we should be fine with this.

But maybe all this eminence pressure will lead to something good. It's happened before, and it will possibly happen now. Who knows? If the coach has these expectations, and has been trying to hit it into them during practice, it may have succeeded. Also, with all the people thinking about the top of the standings, they may by tickets to see this "historic moment", cheering the team to victory. Hey, I know that last one's a long shot, don't give me heck. I'd much prefer to live in denial.

We do have a good back record, though. Five straight gold metals. Either this is a team of their blood, trying successfully to try and keep it alive, or they're under so much pressure that they'll be cracking any time. We need to find out before their next game tomorrow, because if they are the later, then someone should talk the first into them. They slobbered Latvia 16-0, even better then Canada vs. Kazakhstan 15-0 from last year, so their spirits are most likely high. But they still have to forgo many more games and bus loads more pressure. Have fun, guys.

All we can be sure of is that the eyes of the world will be glued on TV screens for the rest of the tournament. So same old, same old, am I right?

Update: Canada went on to beat Latvia 16-0 (a record win in this tournament), Switzerland 6-0, Slovakia 8-2, USA 4-5 in a shootout, Switzerland again 6-1, then lost to USA 5-6 in overtime to take the silver medal. I know you could see this coming, but I blame it on the expectations. Oh, and America. We're gonna take you down in Vancouver.

An Odd Christmas

2009-12-26T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

I find the the holiday with the most built in oddities would be Christmas. I'll list some of them later. I've always loved paradoxes like "Ignore this comment", and this is one step away. I think they're just really cool, for some reason. But this holiday is full of them. I wonder why that is? I guess maybe because Santa must have had a bit too much eggnog.

Some Yuletide nut cases:

Some guy breaks into your house and leaves stuff!
Some guy breaks into your house during the most good doing season of the year
The fattest guy some of us know tries to squeeze down a tiny himmeny
People feel like giving to the poor while they themselves get many more presents
A star lead the way to a kid who's face was just as bright. Was the star really nessessary?
While we're supposed to be thankful for what we have, we get more stuff
With so many Christmas movies, we string popcorn on a string
Santa wears a big belt, but he doesn't need it with his huge waist line
Santa wears read and white, but the official colours are red and green
Christmas Island is just below Indonesia, and very hot
Child labours likely won't get toys from Santa
Rudolph, the "most famous reindeer of all", wasn't mentioned at all in T'was the Night Before Christmas
Cupid was the name of one of Santa's reindeer. I think he's in the wrong holiday.

I know it may not have pleased some people that I posted about Christmas after Christmas, but live with it, guys. It's called the Christmas season, anyway.

Christmas Aftermath

2009-12-25T03:00:00.000-05:00

And here's my opinion:

As we all know, today is Christmas. If you don't know it, get on some clothes, go outside, and learn something for a change. All the stores will be closed. Well, all but Scrooge and Marley's. Today, I evaluate and compare this Christmas to the rest. I know some people say that isn't needed, and that all Christmases are great, but I'm too critical for that.

This year. we had a recession. Yes, I know I'm stating the obvious, but I feel the need to rub it in Mr. Harper's face (We're not going into a recession- Stephen Harper, 2008). And consumer spending was thought to be down. Well, the stores, factoring this "fact" in, ordered less merchandise. When Canadians hit home with spending, the stores were sold out of most holiday items, making the odds you'll get what you want less if your family shops later.

Also, his year there were many less Merry Christmases in lights. They were all "Season's Greetings". I am an Atheist, but I still celebrate secular Christmas (no manger scene for me), and am tolerant if someone else does. There are still Christian tie-ins to secular Christmas- St. Nick was given sainthood by Christians, he was a Christian, and he traditionally only gave toys to Christian children- but we have to open our eyes and see that this world has a lot of Christians, so that's what, at first glance, we seem to be! People are straight, English speaking Christians unless otherwise noted. It's just the way society is.

This Christmas was a bit overshadowed in the news by the Copenhagen summit. The protests, the idiocy, and the tension between nations can overshadow even the jolliest of men. But somehow people made it through, and remembered the world's favourite holiday. It could have been more easily and more widely remembered if we didn't have the people who lead the planet trying to piece together a contract to save it, unsuccessfully, I might add. Merry Christmas, polar bears.

But overall this was a great Christmas, even though it may not have seemed like it from that post. I'm just a very negative person on this blog.